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  1. #71
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    maybe you need to give it a go her coming and baby sitting at your house to see how it goes. Your concerns may be unfounded.

    I can understand however. My MIL cleans and reorganises when she goes to my other SiLs houses. To the extent of resorting their clothes drawers :what: although it comes from a lovely place its way too ott for me. I dont believe you should ever open someones cupboards or drawers without permission. Boundaries!

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    Cicho  (18-11-2013)

  3. #72
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    OP I don't know your personal situation, but I don't think looking in the linen cupboard is 'snooping'.

    I am surprised so many women have this complete distrust of their MILs. Mine is by no means perfect, her and my husband aren't even talking ATM, and we definitely have a few major differences in parenting, and life in general. But she's my kids' nana, I really want them to have a close relationship, and trusting her is central to that. Obviously if she has really burnt you in the past, its different, but like I said, looking in your linen cupboard???!!!

    I really hope my DILs 'allow' me to spend unsupervised time with my grannies in their own home.

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  5. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Sure. You can have her! Not all that glitters is gold though
    Its not all glitters and gold with ANY family member to be honest but being part of a family means you take the good with the bad. I think its really sad for your husband and children that you have such trust issues with her. Whether you think you 'need' her or not is irrelevant, your children will get so much out of spending time with her. My mum and mother I law parent differently to me and to each other, they do so many different things with ds and he loves it! They babysit at our house and put him to bed and the next day he's sooo excited to tell us all about it.
    Please put your issues to one side and have a friendly house where people and welcome and happy to be if they help out around the house AWESOME! I get home and mums always done my washing and ironing and I feel so very lucky. .. she won't always be around so value her while she is and let your kids and husband make the most of their time with her too, you love your husband and im assuming she raised him so she can't be too bad.

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  6. #74
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    My kids have never been looked after anywhere else but at home. I do have some ummm 'toys' that I wouldn't like anyone to find and they have been safely put away so no one can 'accidently' come across them lol.

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    Just reading this thread makes me chest all tight from stress. I *hate* people touching my washing. Hate it. Hate it so much. It makes me feel ill with stress.

    Personally I think someone being high strung about not having people do their washing is still less crazy than someone who can't not do someone else's washing.

    I've had my Mil fold my washing while we've been out and I kid you not she attempted to fold my black g-string. So I come home to my tiniest black gstring placed neatly on the top of a pile of washing.

    Though df totally agreed that odds are as soon as jasper was asleep she'd be opening everything she could lay hand on because that's what she's like. We did pack away anything private into drawers in our bedroom and hope for the best.

    I was tempted to strategically place vibrators are lingerie around the house as pay back.

    But we did just suck it up and go out occasionally when jasper was little and Mil was our only sitter, generally though we took him to her place but when it suited Better she came to us a couple of times.

    Though considering the distance she is away from you, if you haven't already asked Mil, maybe consider the friend instead - I think that would be fair enough.

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  8. #76
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    I don't let my MIL, but she doesn't look after DS full stop because I cant trust her. Our parenting styles are totally different and she doesn't have enough respect to do things my way when she has my child. She got one chance, never again. So while it's not ideal to have a nosey Parker looking in your cupboards I guess try and be greatful you can rely on her for a night off?


    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards

  9. #77
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    I don't trust my MIL to be in our house on her own one little bit, even before kids! She does go thru things and she does snoop, I have had evidence of this on numerous occasions! She lives 1200kms from us so stays when she comes to town, I try make sure we don't have to leave the house when she is here, so babysitting in our house is out of the question.

    I'm at the point of leaving notes for her to find to try & shame her out of her snooping ways.


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    Cicho  (18-11-2013)

  11. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    OP I don't know your personal situation, but I don't think looking in the linen cupboard is 'snooping'.


    .
    Ok. My issue is I don't go looking in MIL's linen cupboard when I'm at her place (which isn't very often), so why is it ok for her to do to me?
    Last edited by Cicho; 18-11-2013 at 14:42.

  12. #79
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    To be honest I don't think it matters what anyone on here says or what advice they offer for you to try and see it from the other side your mind is already made up and you don't want to try and improve the situation. Thats just the feeling im getting I may be wrong

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  14. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by KillerHeels View Post
    To be honest I don't think it matters what anyone on here says or what advice they offer for you to try and see it from the other side your mind is already made up and you don't want to try and improve the situation. Thats just the feeling im getting I may be wrong

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Maybe you are right, and I have made my mind up. I gave up a rare night out with DH because I just couldn't cope with the thought of MIL being here alone.


 

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