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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    The snooping is not an assumption. I have caught her. DH invited her for the weekend (no dramas there) but she was going through my linen closet. I could see her reflection in the bathroom mirror from the kitchen!

    No thanks.
    Apologies for the confusion, but I did acknowledge the linen closet issue. I was just trying to offer perspective - if your children will be well cared for and safe, surely that's more important?

    Your feelings are valid, no doubt about it, and you are obviously a very independent woman. But I have to maintain the view that the care of your children is really the most important thing and you aren't concerned about that as you do trust her in that regard.

    I can guarantee I would be tidying my house floor to ceiling if MIL came to babysit, but the care of (future) baby would be what I was most concerned about & I would weigh up whether the other stuff was a show stopper or not. You may reach the conclusion that it is. Just trying to offer perspective.

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    Cicho  (06-11-2013)

  3. #52
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    I'd rather cut off my own arm than having MIL in my house alone again "helping". It is not "helping". It is snooping and feeling superior for doing something in my home that I have neither needed your help with nor wanted your help for.

    Personally, I would hire a local kid to babysit. I wouldn't mention it to DH nor MIL. I would at the last minute "remember" about the show and do the fake call to the sitter. I would feel much happier having a local kid babysitting than an interfering busybody MIL. If MIL says anything about having the sitter, tell her you'd forgotten until the last minute and it was too late to organise her. A local kid would be less inclined to snoop. (Besides I'd rather have a local kid snoop at my nothing than my MIL).

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  5. #53
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    Yes I am wary of my mil being alone in my house, she is the worlds biggest snoop too, she goes so far as to read our mail if it's around and then later bring it up in conversation, I'm not assuming she does this, it has happened. She can have my kids any time, I don't question her ability but I'd rather take them to her than leave her alone in my house.

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    Cicho  (06-11-2013)

  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imsooverit View Post
    I'd rather cut off my own arm than having MIL in my house alone again "helping". It is not "helping". It is snooping and feeling superior for doing something in my home that I have neither needed your help with nor wanted your help for.

    Personally, I would hire a local kid to babysit. I wouldn't mention it to DH nor MIL. I would at the last minute "remember" about the show and do the fake call to the sitter. I would feel much happier having a local kid babysitting than an interfering busybody MIL. If MIL says anything about having the sitter, tell her you'd forgotten until the last minute and it was too late to organise her. A local kid would be less inclined to snoop. (Besides I'd rather have a local kid snoop at my nothing than my MIL).
    I actually have considered using a local teen. Dh has a mate who has an 18 yo DD who might babysit for a few bucks. Ill have a think about it

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  8. #55
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    I'm sorry but I think its extremely rude to hire a teen when you have family able and willing to babysit.

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  9. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I'm sorry but I think its extremely rude to hire a teen when you have family able and willing to babysit.

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    Agree. Cant believe you would even consider it. Poor mil.

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    KillerHeels  (18-11-2013)

  11. #57
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    I'm not keen on my mil being unattended in my house. Mostly because I know she will gossip to everyone about how she 'had' to do x, y or z because my house was filthy. The other reason is because she will tidy my kitchen so I can't find stuff and fold/hang my washing badly - I'm talking stretched out of shape and ruined. She is however better than the friend that stayed and sorted all the bills and business paperwork on my table. I cried I was so upset and then she made me feel bad because she told me she thought she was helping. She also sorted my fridge and threw a whole heap of stuff out before proceeding to tell me what to buy at the supermarket.

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    Cicho  (07-11-2013)

  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Funnels View Post
    Agree. Cant believe you would even consider it. Poor mil.
    However we don't know MIL. She may be quite manipulative and not "poor" at all.

    I don't think it's fair to make OP feel bad about a possible solution to her problem. Obviously she has an issue with her MIL and perceives there is judgement and prying going on. This may be a solution.

    We use paid babysitters if we don't want to ask family. Sometimes it us nice going out and not having family know our every move. It us nice to have Privacy.

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  15. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I'm sorry but I think its extremely rude to hire a teen when you have family able and willing to babysit.
    While it would be wonderful living in a world full of unicorns where ALL MIL's are caring, supportive, non-judgmental and a joy to be around ... That is not always the case.

    Shock, gasp, but some are actually manipulative, nosey cows.

    Whilst they are very capable of and willing to look after the kids, they take it step further and decide to "help" by going through everything you own (including your bedroom and wardrobe), perhaps doing some washing which gives them an excuse for being in your bedroom, they will go through your filing cabinet to see Bank Statements, bills, letters etc, they will tell other family members and friends what you have, where you've been, how much you earn, whilst boasting how much they've put themselves out by helping you. Then have the gall to tell you what they think about whatever they've found while snooping.

    I find your comment incredibly rude for judging the OP (and myself for suggesting a babysitter). Obviously you think you live in a world where all MIL's are decent, unfortunately, that is not the case.

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  17. #60
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    Just remember you will be that MIL one day and you may be replaced by some random teenager. Does is really matter if she checks out your linen closet?

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