+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 9 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 87
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2,555
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    559
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Anyone else wary of allowing IL's to babysit in your own home?

    Hi All

    DH and I want to go out on Saturday night. We have a pretty famous comedian coming to our small town to do a gig at the local RSL, and we would really like to go. But!.......

    I don't have a babysitter. MIL would come and babysit for us but that would mean she would have to look after the kids at our place (she lives 2.5 hours away). And that makes me very nervous I doubt I would enjoy myself at the show because I would spend the whole night thinking about what MIL is doing in my house

    I'm not concerned that she won't look after the kids or anything like that, it's just HER being in my home, well, um, unattended that bothers me!

    This is not new for me. My youngest child is 4 years old and MIL has never babysat in our home. Whenever she watches the kids (which isn't often) we drop them at her place, because usually we are heading to the city for something and her place is on the way.

    Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just me

    MIL has a knack of making everything she does sound normal 'Well, doesn't everyone do that!' like, doesn't every grandma come and babysit in the kids own home!?!.

    Anyway I am soooo undecided on what to do. Suggestions? TIA XXX

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I honestly don't understand the issue. She is your DHs mum and your kids grandma, why does she need to be supervised?

    And I think it's pretty normal for grandparents to come over to babysit.

  3. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (05-11-2013),beebs  (18-11-2013),DailyDiversion  (05-11-2013),gizmoduckus  (05-11-2013),HearMeRoar  (18-11-2013),KillerHeels  (18-11-2013),Mahjong  (18-11-2013),Mummy Potato  (05-11-2013),peanutmonkey  (07-11-2013),Pusheen The Cat  (01-12-2013),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (05-11-2013),snowqu33n  (05-11-2013),~BEXTER~  (06-11-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central West
    Posts
    1,540
    Thanks
    1,829
    Thanked
    855
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi Cicho! I can understand your nervousness. My MIL rarely looks after my boys in my house and I prefer it that way! My mum always has them here and that's fine, but it's a bit different when it's your mil.

    I guess you need to weigh up whether it's worth the stress for you personally. Are you worried about her going through your stuff? On the other hand it's nice for your children to be in their own home.

    It's a tough one! I hope you can reach a decision that you are comfortable with

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Chippa For This Useful Post:

    Cicho  (05-11-2013)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2,555
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    559
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yeah, I understand she is DH's mum too, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it.

    My own mother has never ever visited my home, let alone babysat here, but that is another issue, so DH has never been offended because I have never asked MIL to babysit at our place because my mother has never done it either.

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,870
    Thanks
    3,034
    Thanked
    5,843
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I would actually prefer my DS to be babysat in his own home.

    What is the issue OP? Are you afraid she is going to go through your stuff?

    My main concern with anyone babysitting my DS would be that I could trust them to look after him. Sounds like your MIL is more than capable and trustworthy in that aspect.

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2,555
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    559
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Chippa View Post
    Hi Cicho! I can understand your nervousness. My MIL rarely looks after my boys in my house and I prefer it that way! My mum always has them here and that's fine, but it's a bit different when it's your mil.

    I guess you need to weigh up whether it's worth the stress for you personally. Are you worried about her going through your stuff? On the other hand it's nice for your children to be in their own home.

    It's a tough one! I hope you can reach a decision that you are comfortable with
    I think that is it. I am worried she will go through my things. I am a very private person and TBH the thought of that freaks me out!

    MIL's boundaries are a lot different to mine and I think that is also an issue with me. What she thinks is ok for her to do in my home is proably the exact opposite of how I feel. I'll give it some more thought but I'm leaning towards just not going out on Saturday night because it wouldn't be worth the stress.


  9. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    1,706
    Thanks
    332
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Is there a particular reason? Like she would go through your things?
    I was the opposite for the first 15mths the grandparents had to come to my house to babysit dd as I didn't like her staying at there house lol

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2,555
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    559
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    I would actually prefer my DS to be babysat in his own home.

    What is the issue OP? Are you afraid she is going to go through your stuff?

    My main concern with anyone babysitting my DS would be that I could trust them to look after him. Sounds like your MIL is more than capable and trustworthy in that aspect.
    Yeah she is trustworthy with the kids, and my youngest is 4 years old so doesn't have to be at our home, just that it would be convenient this weekend. I'm just such a private person that it freaks me out that she may go through my stuff! When DH was still living with her (aged 25!) she was still cleaning his room, folding his washing etc and paying his bills, so she was obviosly reading them too! Gah!

  11. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central West
    Posts
    1,540
    Thanks
    1,829
    Thanked
    855
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Could you do a quick scout around and put away anything really personal? Might be easier said than done but it might make you feel more comfortable. It would be a shame to miss out on a night out kid free!

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Chippa For This Useful Post:

    Cicho  (05-11-2013),Little Miss Sunshine  (05-11-2013),PurpleButterfly4  (18-11-2013)

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,870
    Thanks
    3,034
    Thanked
    5,843
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Yeah she is trustworthy with the kids, and my youngest is 4 years old so doesn't have to be at our home, just that it would be convenient this weekend. I'm just such a private person that it freaks me out that she may go through my stuff! When DH was still living with her (aged 25!) she was still cleaning his room, folding his washing etc and paying his bills, so she was obviosly reading them too! Gah!
    What is it that you have that is really private that you don't want her to find/see? Can you stash these things away?

    She'll probably be too busy looking after the kids to do any major snooping. I suppose you know her and I don't. If you truly don't feel comfortable and it's causing you stress, don't do it.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    Cicho  (05-11-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Concerned for a friend but should I be wary?
    By littlebopeep2013 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 30-07-2013, 17:03
  2. Allowing non parents into babes in arms cinema sessions
    By me+he&she=three in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 20-03-2013, 17:06
  3. How do you say no to people when you don't want them to babysit?
    By DarcyJ in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 11-03-2013, 07:07

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Softer than your bub's bum Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Australia's favourite eco brand has delivered a gorgeous baby collection. Made from organic bamboo, Boody's extraordinarily soft and stretchy, skin-friendly tops, bottoms, onesies, bibs and wraps don't 'cost the earth'. Get 20% OFF! Code BUBHUB16.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!