This is my first post on this forum, and after reading all the posts in this area, it's really helped to read about others feeling the same as me, so I decided to share my story.
This morning I did a hpt and got a bfp. I've just turned 40, have 2 beautiful girls 6 & 4, and swore I'd never have any more kids. Last year I had a termination, which was extremely difficult and though I don't regret that decision as such because it was made taking everything into consideration, I really really couldn't live with myself if I chose that option again. I feel so incredibly stupid to be back in this situation again. Birth control has been a contentious issue between DH & I for a while, and we just got careless.AF has been all over the place for me and I was wondering if I was nearing menopause as some months it's 6 -7 weeks between when I always used to be spot on 4 weeks.
Anyway, I was feeling the same nausea as I had with the first 2 and it's been about 6 weeks since my last period so thinking it really couldn't be possible I did the test and got the shock of my life.
DH is really struggling with the thought of having any more. He says we just won't cope. I just know that I really can't have another termination. I know I will just have to come to terms with having another baby, which scares me senseless at the age of 40. I run a business which is finally running well, our mortgage is way more than we can pay off on one salary, there are so many reasons why it's going to be so hard, but I don't see any other way.
Thanks for listening. It really does help to write it all down.