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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nomsie View Post
    There is only a problem if you feel there is a problem. It doesn't matter what society or books say a baby *should* be doing- if you feel it is not right, then you have the power to fix it.
    This exactly! It's about figuring out, once you are finding things a problem, what works for you and your bub.

    I must say though often what will work for your bub, might not be something you are comfortable with, so my advice is try anything and everything until you find what works.

    Some me parents decide to go down the CC route but find their bub throws up from the experience, so that method clearly doesn't work for the baby.

    Then there are parents who try gentle methods and find it makes no difference at all as that particular baby needs more of a tough love approach.

    theres a great site called baby sleep site which has amazing sleep articles from no-cry methods to CC methods and everything in between.

    Remember you can sleep train without leaving bub alone but also by stopping bad sleep associations such as feeding or rocking to sleep, this worked for us. It wasn't as quick as CC, but was definitely quicker than continuing to rock or feed to sleep.

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    ertgirl  (08-11-2013)

  3. #32
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    My DD is 10mths & also an IVF miracle, so I totally understand how your feeling.

    We have had some rough times with sleeping, I ended up doing sleep training because I was so exhausted I just couldn't cope any longer (looking back, I do believe I blamed it all on my DH).

    Sleep training was hard, it is worse before it gets better. I researched routines on the net & found one that would suit us, then I put DD to bed at the time I wanted her to sleep. She cried, I sat with her & used the ssh/pat soothing technique (FYI it did not soothe her straight away, it took quite some time but I read that you need to use the same soothing technique for at least 3 days for bub to learn it's soothing). If she wasn't asleep within the hour, I would get her up & try again at next sleep time.

    It took about 5 days of solid work to establish a routine, but I noticed improvement by day 3. Our routine now looks like this:

    5am: she wakes & I bf her in bed with me, she'll sometimes go back to sleep until 6.30
    7am: porridge with fruit & toast
    9am: sleep
    10.30am: wake, yoghurt
    12pm: sandwich or veggies/pasta
    12.30pm: bottle & bed
    2.30pm: wake, fruit
    4.30pm; dinner
    5pm: bath
    6pm: bed (sometimes earlier, she use to go to bed at 5pm, just depends on how tired she is), she has a bottle before bed as well.

    Sorry for the long post, I've been where you are and it is so exhausting!

    Also, when we were establishing the routine when DD woke over night I would use the ssh/pat technique until she went back to sleep. Like I mentioned earlier, it's a hard slog but there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel if you decide to do sleep training.

    At the end of the day, your a great mum that loves her baby, do whatever it is your happy doing. If that means rocking bubs to sleep, then do it! I co-slept & bf'd all night to keep my DD content, only reason I stopped was because she seemed to be not sleeping properly in our bed & wanted her own sleep.

    Feel free to pm me any time if you have questions or want support.

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    ertgirl  (10-11-2013)

  5. #33
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    Sleep training is tough, I've tried a few different things over the last week. But in the end have resorted to cuddling, all but one night. Last night I just sat in his room with him till he fell asleep, it took less than 20 minutes. I just comforted him as he needed & it wasn't too painful for either of us. Although I think a lot of the advice & encouragement I've received here had helped immensely. And getting some sleep has certainly helped. I don't know why, but yesterday, after an unbroken sleep I woke up before DS, at 9:10am!!!! I was in shock! Then last night he slept through again (shock!) & slept till 8am. It's amazing how much better I feel after just 2 nights of sleep. I don't think I yawned once today & I was able to be so much more productive.
    I don't think I'm quite ready to stop cuddling him off to sleep, but have decided that I will follow his cues; I think he's getting a bit over being cuddled to sleep. I've always had this philosophy that kids resettle better if they fall asleep in their cot (I've worked as a nanny for 20 years), although I've never left them to cry. Now I have my own all my philosophies have gone out the window & that drive to be close to him is so intense.
    I'm always being told what a happy, content bub he is & he'll happily play on the floor & go to others he feels secure with.
    I think I definitely do need a bit more of a routine in the day as I think this will help with the night time. Any tips on establishing a daytime routine for him, or do I just need to get back into the feed-sleep-play way of doing things rather than a strict routine? TIA

  6. #34
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    I have spent so much time cuddling & kissing my DD2, she is such a happy, smiley bub and happily plays by herself as well, I wonder if that's because of all the cuddles?

    Maybe try the eat, play, sleep & see what routine he puts himself into, my situation was a little different, I needed her sleeps to fit around school drop off and pick up.

    Happy mum = happy bub, sounds like your doing a great job!


 

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