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    Default What role do you play in your family?

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    Last edited by dee1; 20-02-2014 at 20:57.

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    Both DH & I technically work full time (he works, I'm studying research which is fulltime hours)...I've divided up what needs to get done around the house and he knows what he needs to get done. However, usually I have to remind him to do it & at what time...he has trouble taking responsibilty for his jobs and using his initiative. It frustrates me sometimes that I come home & automatically start making dinner (thats one of my jobs as he's hopeless at cooking at the moment) but when he comes home he automatically turns on the tv and won't get anything done unless I remind him.

    Our first bub is on the way so it will be interesting to see how it works out...its likely I'll be the one looking after bub the most.

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    I do everything as I'm a single parent. But I only do what I want, when I want and have no-one I need to nag or impress, so for that reason I'm quite happy as a SP! I hear so many stories of marital discontent over issues like this and I don't envy being in that situation at all, having to ask a grown adult who's meant to be my biggest support and partner, to do stuff around the house that quite clearly needs doing and shouldn't have to be pointed out.

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    I would say I'm the main caregiver for our DS. When DS was a newbie, I did everything but now he is 2 yrs DP is starting to do more with/for him. I work part time while DP works full time.

    In regards to the household tasks, I have to admit I do almost everything - I have to ask DP to do stuff, not much initiative there!

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    Last edited by dee1; 20-02-2014 at 20:58.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dee1 View Post
    Yes, fleetwood at times I feel like I would be better off as a single parent. It is hard feeling like I have two children. It's hard because all of my hubbies married friends either have no kids or their kids are older. The wives with older kids are stay at home mums and they all seem to be domestic goddesses. I can imagine it would be easy to do with older children. But my daughter is 6 months old and breast feeding. She is so dependent on me, so it's hard to get things done. I also feel unmotivated during the day. I seem to have lost my drive to do things. I think I have reached a point where I feel like my hubby doesn't care about the state of our house, so why should I? Sometimes when I look at all the things that need to be done it is just so overwhelming and gives me anxiety just thinking about doing it. I don't know where to start. When hubby gets home I feel really motivated and I would love to get in and get it done together. But he just wants to relax after his day at work.
    Trust me they only appear to be domestic goddesses! I get accused of that all the time. Truth is most people see a snapshot of 2 hours in my life. Sure for 2 hours I can look nice, serve nice food and maintain a clean house!

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    My DH works full time and does the yard work (he does it without me asking). I do the inside stuff, and am main caregiver to our DD. DH does play with her a lot though, and does her physio with her
    We have divided up the chores like this since we moved in together, working and children hasn't changed it, although when DD was younger the house did get a bit messy from time to time.
    As for the cleaning, I start in the main rooms and just keep putting things away/throwing stuff out until it's tidy. Then I just keep it maintained by doing a little tidy up when ever I get up to do something else (so if I'm going to the kitchen for lunch I'll look around for any plates or rubbish to take with me). I get one big chore done a day (at least) like washing the floors, then do the little things like tidying, emptying the dishwasher, cooking, baking etc.
    Good luck with it all op, have a chat with your DH, explain how you feel and that you need some more help


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    The way it works at our house is, when you are at work, you are at work. When you are at home you are doing house duties until they are done. So when I am home I am doing 100% of the house and child care. As soon as DP is home it is split 50/50. No one gets time to relax until it's all taken care of. In our house that means DP and I relax at around 7.30 once the kids are down and the dishes are done. We split any night wake ups and take it in turns watching the kids on the weekend if the other wants a break.

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    We both work full time , I clean the majority of the house dh does the kitchen and the shower. ( I can't manage the shower lol ) I'm mainly responsible for the washing but dh gives me a hand when he knows I'm having a rough day. He's really helped me relax about the house work because after dd was born I was a cleaning nazi!!!

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    Hubby works long hours and I work part time from home.
    I do everything obviously until he comes home. Then we split child stuff 50/50 but I still do all housework and cooking. To be fair when he is home he mostly does more with the kids than me so it isn't really 50/50 he prob does 70 and I do 30.
    He does all outside chores like lawns pool cars etc.
    occasionally he does stuff inside if he sees it needs doing like he might pack the dishwasher or tidy the lounge or even clean the bathroom but it's only once in a while and I never ask him to do it. He isn't very messy himself and he works so much that I'm happy to do it this way and he really gives the kids quality time when he is home so I'm happy to do the chores as I get more time for quality time with the kids than he does.
    ETA he doesn't just play with he does everything like nappies baths pjs bedtime etc
    Last edited by grumpysmurf; 02-11-2013 at 09:44.


 

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