After my huge surprise BFP I was nervously excited to be having another baby. I am currently 39 and my employment situation wasn't stable enough for us to be actively TTC so our little 'whoopsie' was quite difficult to come to terms with but DH and I are really excited about giving our DS a brother or sister.
i had my 12 week scan yesterday and although there is one healthy, energetic baby there, I was also told about the other empty amniotic sack that should have been nurturing my second baby. It appears that twin number 2 died at about 8 weeks. I didn't even know I was having twins... I had no bleeding to I dictate the loss of a pregnancy and I've been so fortunate to have never, until now, experienced the pain of a miscarriage.
It's been 24 hours since my scan and I'm still feeling quite numbed. I feel so guilty that I am grieving so strongly over the loss of my precious twin #2 and cannot enjoy and rejoice in the fact that twin #1 is healthy and strong.
Has anyone here had this kind of experience? When does the pain of losing one twin pass so that I can celebrate the impending arrival of my remaining twin? Is there ever a time that I will be able to look at my beautiful child and not think of the one who should be playing beside them?