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  1. #61
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureMa View Post
    I'm another one who would follow their rules except for CC/CIO and smacking. A previous poster mentioned that non-CC, attachment based parenting is "in vogue" at the moment... Well, I hate to be the one to break this to you but it's been "in vogue" since the beginning of time. It's CC that is the modern, western phenomenon, not attachment parenting.

    Listening to a baby scream and not responding goes against all my instincts as a mother so I don't do it and wouldn't do it with my grandchild.

    ETA: I let my mum and in-laws do what they want with DD in terms of food etc. They respect my parenting style and work with that 😊
    CC might be a new concept, but smacking certainly isn't. Most societies who co-sleep don't do it because they are AP. I think you'll find as children in those societies get older, smacking is a perfectly normal form of discipline. AP most certainly IS a new vogue thing.

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    What parts of AP are a new vogue thing? Breastfeeding? Nope. Baby wearing? Nope. Co sleeping? Nope.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    What parts of AP are a new vogue thing? Breastfeeding? Nope. Baby wearing? Nope. Co sleeping? Nope.
    Gentle parenting, following a child's lead. In other words, the core values of AP. BFing, baby wearing and co-sleeping are NOT AP. many APers do those things, but if you then smack your children, or believe they should be seen and not heard, or that they need to not express their emotions, then that is not at all AP.

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    my parents don't look after ds- their choice. Reason being that before he was a year old ( I think he was about 7 mths at the time) dh and I got gastro badly enough to go to hospital. We called and asked for babysitting help. They said yes, when we got there to drop off we asked simply that if he was tired or crying that they held him, not left him to cry. They said then and there that they wouldn't do that as babies need to learn who's boss. They also said they would smack if he misbehaved. I handed over bottles of ebm during this and was told not to bother with the milk, they had some sachets of formula or carnation in the cupboard.
    Needless to say we took ds with us to hospital. It was awful.
    I would like to think that within reason I would follow my kids requests if babysitting- I couldn't cc/CIO or smack though.

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    I like to think that given the environment that my children have grown up in and the manner in which they have been parented would rub off on their own parenting and wouldn't therefore be drastically different when they parent their own children.

    But, having said that, if they did grow up to parent their own children in a manner the complete opposite manner in which they were parented, and therefore, go against everything that I believe in, then no, I wouldn't parent in the way in which they do.

    If they requested that I control cry or cry it out on my grandbabies, or smack them, or feed them complete and utter junk instead of REAL food, then no, I wouldn't do it. I would be upfront with my own children about it though and say something like "hey, of course I'd LOVE to babysit, but unfortunately, I'm really not comfortable with doing XYZ because of ABC" and then leave the decision up to them.

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  7. #66
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    babalooba is offline Being a brother is better than being a superhero
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    I would follow instructions but have to draw the line at cc/cio. I would be honest and say that I respect that that's the way they choose to do it but couldn't do it myself.

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    I was born in 1983 and, while my parents were 'older' parents during that time they definitely were more AP than a lot of today's APers because it was a reaction to the militant-style parenting they'd been brought up with. My mother tells me it was very common back then because so many were so against the way they were raised they did everything in the opposite manner. Mum co-slept with me because I was a pain.

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    I hope I would be open to new research. i.e. I demand breastfed my babies, my MIL was very vocal that they should be on 3 hourly then 4 hourly feeds (while also saying her milk dried up at 3 months with all her kids), she was not open to new information. I am not silly to think that research would show things that we are doing today may not be optimal and there might be new ways in 30 years.

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    As long as the baby wasn't being harmed in any way then yes, I would at least try and respect their wishes.

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    I have zero expectation that the grandparents will follow a strict routine - they've said that that's their role, a place to have fun and be spoiled and got to bed when they want - and I'm totally ok with that


 

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