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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    It depends. One offs, or evening babysitting I would follow their wishes. If I was offering to be free child care, as my MIL has done, I would be far more 'my rules'. I think there are far too many parents today who get free child care of their own parents and basically boss them around and treat them like the staff. If you trust someone enough to watch your child regularly and for long hours, I think you have to trust them to do things their way. Or you can pay someone you can boss around.
    Very much agree.

  2. #22
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    I don't think it's fair to assume people who don't want to have their baby left to cry aren't easy going. This is a spin off of a thread by someone who did not want her baby to be looked after by someone but this person wanted to babysit.

    i picked up my baby from his one and only day at a certain child care centre as I was mesnt to start study and when I picked him up he was lying on his belly, as red as a beetroot. I told them he didn't like it on his belly. He was so red and he took so long to calm down I think he'd been left like that on the floor for some time. Child care worker, my parents, the teenager down the road... I won't let anyone do whatever they want with my baby.

    I am so close with my parents (and they aren't whackos who would leave a baby to scream on the floor) that I feel they don't babysit but play an extremely important role in his upbringing.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I don't think it's fair to assume people who don't want to have their baby left to cry aren't easy going. This is a spin off of a thread by someone who did not want her baby to be looked after by someone but this person wanted to babysit.

    i picked up my baby from his one and only day at a certain child care centre as I was mesnt to start study and when I picked him up he was lying on his belly, as red as a beetroot. I told them he didn't like it on his belly. He was so red and he took so long to calm down I think he'd been left like that on the floor for some time. Child care worker, my parents, the teenager down the road... I won't let anyone do whatever they want with my baby.

    I am so close with my parents (and they aren't whackos who would leave a baby to scream on the floor) that I feel they don't babysit but play an extremely important role in his upbringing.
    No one connected CC with being easy going. They were two different conversations. I actually said that we did CC, my MIL hated it and secretly cuddled DD to sleep, and I didn't care because I am pretty easy going and I pretty much see it as her house, her rules. She is doing me a favour.

    ETA: so I am CC and I feel quite easy going, but they are not connected. You could be an attachment parent and easy going with grandparents babysitting. You could be a parent that uses CC and is fully uptight. There are all types.
    Last edited by Mum2EandR; 30-10-2013 at 19:53.

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    I'd happily follow any instructions , cc I would have trouble with , feeding chocolate custard id also cringe at but if for some strange reason in 20 years both were in the recommended thing ( which I highly doubt ) I would research it and then do as they wanted - my mum was amazing with my DS, she said they did cc and purées with me as that was was done in the. 70,s but she took so well to co sleeping and BLW with DS as both methods seemed to make so much sense to her now , I'm really pleased she did as I think I would have a problem if she did the opposite of what I wanted so I'm going to assume that I will trust that DS and his future partner will also do what's right for their baby and I will follow as best as I can

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  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I'd happily follow any instructions , cc I would have trouble with , feeding chocolate custard id also cringe at but if for some strange reason in 20 years both were in the recommended thing ( which I highly doubt ) I would research it and then do as they wanted - my mum was amazing with my DS, she said they did cc and purées with me as that was was done in the. 70,s but she took so well to co sleeping and BLW with DS as both methods seemed to make so much sense to her now , I'm really pleased she did as I think I would have a problem if she did the opposite of what I wanted so I'm going to assume that I will trust that DS and his future partner will also do what's right for their baby and I will follow as best as I can
    Great perspective!

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    It really depends on what it is.

    Mostly, if they say, "You can't give them coke/cake/whatever," then meh. It's not like there's not a billion other options... but if it was "you MUST CC," I would be like, "No way in hell." Mostly because I cannot STAND babies crying. I just cannot. It makes me start having a panic attack/my anxiety disorder goes into full swing. Just walking through the supermarket, I cannot handle it. I start to tremble and sweat... it makes me go crazy. So... no. I am not doing that. Watch your own kid if it's so important.

    And if someone told me I HAD to smack, they could get stuffed. I would just lie and tell them their kid was so well-behaved they didn't need any sort of discipline anyway.

    BUT... I hope that DD is like me, and figures that grandparents are there to spoil their grandkids and do things that Mum and Dad wouldn't let them do. I let my mother do what she wants with DD. There's no reason a child cannot learn that there's different rules at different locations/with different people.

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  10. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2EandR View Post
    No one connected CC with being easy going. They were two different conversations. I actually said that we did CC, my MIL hated it and secretly cuddled DD to sleep, and I didn't care because I am pretty easy going and I pretty much see it as her house, her rules. She is doing me a favour.

    ETA: so I am CC and I feel quite easy going, but they are not connected. You could be an attachment parent and easy going with grandparents babysitting. You could be a parent that uses CC and is fully uptight. There are all types.
    I didn't connect CC with being easygoing either, what I meant is it's unfair to assume that people who don't want their baby to have a different routine - no matter what that entails - while being babysat aren't easygoing. I was using CC as an example, as you were.

    Whenever I babysat as a teen I was told what their routine is, especially re bedtime. I always stuck to it, it's not my job to make decisions for other people's children.

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    Mmm. I probably wouldn't be able to, tbh. I find the sounds of babies crying to be very anxiety inducing and not being able to comfort them makes it worse and leads to an almost full blown panic attack, to the point I need to lock myself away and cover my ears. Just on this alone and to save the relationship with my daughter/in law then I would politely decline, not because I think they're parenting wrong but because I don't want to end up freaking out every time I babysit and I think that would strain the relationship between us.


    Back in my day, ABC played Alice Cooper on the kids cartoons and our cartoons could talk. Being a kid sucks now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I didn't connect CC with being easygoing either, what I meant is it's unfair to assume that people who don't want their baby to have a different routine - no matter what that entails - while being babysat aren't easygoing. I was using CC as an example, as you were.

    Whenever I babysat as a teen I was told what their routine is, especially re bedtime. I always stuck to it, it's not my job to make decisions for other people's children.
    Ah yes ok! I see! Sorry.

    I have no idea what I think TBH. Do you think it makes a difference if someone is looking after your kids regularly for free (ie. grandparents babysitting 3 days a week), or whether you are paying a babysitter/child care centre. Or if it is an irregular occurrence (one night every couple of months)?

    I know I also try to stick to mum & dads routines and ideals if I am babysitting friends kids/nieces/nephews etc. but if I had those children full days, several times a week I would probably make it more workable for me if Mum & Dad were agreeable.

  14. #30
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    I don't think I would be able to do it and I'd be having a long talk to my kids about their parenting approach.

    I don't believe in letting babies cry (and I'm not talking about whimpers, I did a very gentle form of CC with my DS) and giving a toddler junk food on a regular basis is a mild form of child abuse and I will not partake in such practices.


 

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