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  1. #1
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    Default *Spin Off* If your child asked you to babysit their child.....

    But stated that you HAD to do controlled crying, or you HAD to give them chocolate custard, or you HAD to give them a dummy (insert *anything* that you yourself are 'against' in parenting) - would you follow their wishes?

    Just curious as there are often a lot of threads where people are concerned that grandparents will go ahead and do their own thing anyway despite knowing the parent's position on things. So I was wondering if we put ourselves in their shoes and it was our grown children who had supremely different parenting philosophies to us, how would we react? Would we think that 'we know best'?

    For example, I am quite an 'old school' parent. I do CC, my kids had dummies, they were not picked up at the slightest whimper, ate junk sometimes etc. so I think if they grew up and followed a very attachment-based philosophy I would find it hard as a babysitter, but ultimately I would probably suck it up because the parents make the rules.

    I was talking to the girls at work today and one said if her child told her to CC her grandchild while she was babysitting, or ask her to let the child eat custard or drink flavoured milk after lunch she wouldn't do it. Even if the parents supplied the food/routine etc. because she feels that CC is wrong, that children should have no junk until they are three and basically 'her house her rules'. It just got me thinking.......

    So WWYD....... And let's assume that the child was not in danger, ate a varied diet at home etc etc.

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    For a short time, I would accede to the parents wishes. If it was an ongoing thing then I would try it their way first, but if it as too difficult for me emotionally, I would have a discussion to either agree on a compromise or suggest they find alternative arrangements if no compromise could be reached.

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  3. #3
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    I firmly believe that its the parents choice.

    So yes, I would do things the way the parent wanted ... even if I thought that it was wrong

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    I will not be doing controlled crying with my grandbabies. Other than that ill do my best to do what my kids want so as not to upset their routine. Especially while kids are little.

    I think ill struggle to keep quiet as a grandparent:/

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    btmacxxx  (30-10-2013)

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    Even though it would drive me freaking batty rocking a kid to sleep or carrying them around all day, I think I would do it - but probably not more than one day a week. I think it will turn out that DH and I will probably be working full time anyway, so I doubt I'll be called on much for babysitting.

    I asked my MIL to let DD cry when she put her to sleep (she never cried longer than a few minutes) and I know it KILLED her. In fact I dare say she probably picked her up and cuddled her to sleep and just didn't tell me

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    I wouldn't do CC, but would feed them whatever I was told to.

    No way I could listen to my grand babies cry.

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    btmacxxx  (30-10-2013)

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    I would struggle with cc. I hope I would respect my child's wishes and authority as the parent but I would find it hard to let my grandchild cry it out - depending on age/ length of crying etc

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    The refusal to CC is very 'in vogue' right now. But what if in 20 years, studies prove that CC is the better option and the current way of thinking is outdated (like we tend to say about our parents philosophies). Would you still refuse?

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    I don't think I'd be able to CC (as in new baby screaming - it's not recommended even by CC advocates anywhere but home because they're in a new environment/new person looking after them and leaving them to cry...well it isn't nice for them) but I would make that extremely clear to them beforehand. The dummy etc well generally when I babysit I do whatever the child's normal routine is (even if it's not exactly what I'd do) so as not to confuse/stress them. Junk food I'd actually laugh if parents were flat out AGAINST healthy food for their kids lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    If my boy's don't listen to me on CC I suspect this will be me lol!!
    Haha, it certainly didn't hurt her. I was fairly easy going though. Even though we did CC, on the one day my MIL had her I actually couldn't give a fat rats whether she cuddled her to sleep, or fed her organic fruit of the earth, or put her in cloth nappies. I saw it as she was doing me a favour by babysitting and as long as she was looking after her she could do what she wanted.......

    I hope my kids are as easy going as me and DH because there is no way I am doing clothe nappies!!!

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