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  1. #1
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    Default Prental or post natal?

    I have a 6 month old now I'm 21 weeks preg. I'm just not coping at all.

    Df is so supportive I just shut him down at every chance. I don't want anything to do with anyone. My family is NOT supportive. I can't call them or mil/sil. Nobody helps out with dd (even before I found out I was preg). They are all excited for the good stuff for example 'lets take this great photo oh she looks cute'....

    Always telling me how I parent is wrong. Why organic? Why formula? Why burp so long? Oh she's not that sick.... Babies just cry and sleep when they want too. Yep ok thanks! I'm really feeling down and feel like I have no support what so ever and really lonely. I just want to tell everyone to F off!! But I never stand my ground and I end up just taking it out on df (I am horrible I know )

    Now I'm pregnant I don't feel any attachment to this baby. Everyone's excited around me during there pregnancies and I don't feel same. I don't want to be a mum. I don't want to do it. I just want to work and go back to my old life. I feel so selfish. I resent my dd daily. Why can't I love her how everyone tells me they love theirs.

    Df said he will quit work and stay home with us (we can afford too) I'm just so stressed.

  2. #2
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    No advice really but I'm sorry you feel this way is there anywhere you could perhaps go for counselling? I know that wont really solve your problems but at least it might give you some strategies for coping?

  3. #3
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    hun if you feel its all getting on top of you then take dh's offer up on taking some time off work to help you sort your emotions out. DH staying home with you will not be a long trem fix but it will help you right now. Make an appt with ur GP and tell him how you are feeling. You may just need a few sessions of counselling just to talk to someone. I have found Bub hub to be wonderful at having a vent on. Almost always someone has been through what i have and can offer advice and support.
    Have you thought about putting dd into daycare just one day or a half day? that would give you a break, keep dd stimulated and time to yourself and to prepare for the next baby/make appointments/go shopping/sleep/do something for yourself. Keep her in dd once new bub is born and you will have a day just you and new bub one on one.
    do you get out much? take dd down to a toddler library session, take her for a swim (feels great while pregnant!) try to enjoy the days you have with her before bub comes along. Take her shopping for some new clothes, let her choose them!
    Can you join a playgroup and try meet new people? ive found playgroups to be very friendly and supportive.

    It sounds like you are in a bit of a rut. Your hormones are probably all over the place so its totally understandable. Take some time out (when DD is sleeping) to think about some things you would like to do with dd that you would both enjoy. I think you need to work on your relationship with her if you feel resentment towards her, and try to do this before the baby is due.

    Its great you have a supportive DP, but taking your emotions out on him can take its toll on him too. Could you write him a letter to say how much you also appreciate him when you are feeling at your worst?
    Im sorry your family is of no help or support. I have learnt to only rely on myself through the hard way also. Plus we live a fair distance from any family, so im just used to the way things are, i wouldnt know what to do with any "help!".

    I hope the days improve for you hun, take it slow. Try and get into your GP or talk to your midwife at ur next baby checkup, if you can.
    I think you need to take it easy, realise you are a great mum, have a wonerful suportive DH and you have a special little girl who loves you more than anything.

    Goodluck, Bub hub is always here for you to vent when you are feeling stressed.

  4. #4
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    I did goto a mums group but been hard since preg. I felt bit excluded as everyone was so focused on their first bubs (which I understand) but I have more than one priority too. So I often just keep to myself and go on outings with dd and df.

    We do lots of stuff on our own on weekends zoo, park, beach etc to try and get out. During week I try and get out as much as possible. Df is great and let's me get out as much as possible massages and hair apps (I sound like a spoilt brat now) but I'm just mentally drained not physically if that makes sense.

    I just enquired about day care because I'm worried how we will cope with no family when DS is born especially on days df has to be at hospital (I'm a control freak) and I think my OCD takes over things.

    Thanks for your replies. Just needed a vent I'm sitting in obs now waiting to have a chat


 

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