I am really beginning to seriously resent my older brother.
A year and a half ago he split with his partner and came to stay with me, but he is still here and has gradually moved in and is quite comfortable. He finally got back into the workforce but hated his job and quit a few months ago with promise of a new job - it hasn't happened.
I am really angry at him as it took him ages to get this job after being out of the workforce for over a year. He never discussed staying here long-term and is making no real effort to move out and get his stuff together.
I am a single parent of one small child and my brother has dumped all of his problems onto me. He has a young son himself that he has not really bothered seeing and his ex is immature, nasty and uses their son against him, yet he refuses to take my advice and get mediation or legal visitation rights. He is just the big victim who the world is so cruel to, and I'm sick of it.
Furthermore, I rented this house off my mum after splitting with my ex and have been paying rent every fortnight, yet I found out my brother is paying nothing and that in fact mum gives him money. He has spent most of his life *staying* with relatives/girlfriends and never paying rent. Why does he get away with this?? He is 40 years old.
I want him out now, but he won't leave. I cannot afford to move myself, I am studying my masters full-time, and it was agreed I could live here (paying full rent) with mum back when I became single, yet I never agreed anyone could just move in without my consent. Since when does me being a single parent mean others can freely move in and never leave?
I don't think I'd actually have a problem if he was doing the right thing, working and making an effort to be a dad to his son, saving money and contributing to this household (just spends all his time in his room with all his electrical equipment and TV). He does very little around here, never tells me what he's doing/where he's going etc. it's basically like a hotel to him, and I feel very used.
Mum is enabling him and always has. The amount of money she has given him over the years is phenomenal. She even wants to buy a business for him to manage (crazy, he is not as business-savvy as she thinks!). I am now a single parent who can barely afford the basics yet never ask for money.
Its easy for my family to say its fine for him to live here - they all feel sorry for him :/ - but I'm the one living with this, not them! Furthermore, I was alone with a baby yet nine of them offered any kind if help to me at the time.
What do I do here? Give him notice and change the locks? Every day I feel more and more resentful towards my own brother. He should never have quit his job without a contract for the new supposed job. Part of me thinks he did it to avoid paying child support (he is getting bits of cash in hand for random work he is doing although he doesn't seem to be working, probably mum is giving him the money).
Sorry it's so long, got carried away there!