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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Haunted House
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I posted a long reply and it disappeared.

    I would say firstly sex lives are supposed to ebb and flow, however if they are always ebbing and non existent or very rare then that can be a huge issue.

    Its normal for men and women to want sex and want to feel desired.

    A sexless marriage is considered 10-12 times per year or less.

    Most intimate relationships bond through sex and emotional intimacy. It is important to most, for a relatively healthy sex life to be part of a long term relationship (except when there is serious illness etc).

    Its OK for you to want him to desire you, to flirt with you, and to want sex. It's perfectly normal and healthy. You both should be interested in meeting each others sexual and intimate needs as well as emotional over the long term.

    I would suggest you insist on counselling and getting his testosterone checked. Have it checked in the afternoon as its highest in the mornings. If it is on the low side but not clinically low there are lots of options that can get his testosterone up. Testosterone is important.

    Does he often feel tired? Does he compliment you? Are you both generally interested in each others lives? Do you spend time as a couple every week alone together to doing couple things? Do you have shared interests? Do you have separate interests? Do you have resentments? Or ongoing relationship issues aside from sex? Does he watch a lot of porn? How open is he to fixing the problem? Does he even know what a huge problem it can be? Any other health issues?

    Sexless marraiges often do end, and it's not surprising. Sex isn't everything but it is an important bonding part of committed relationships and when it's missing it can become a huge issue. It can be extremely hurtful and make a person feel overwhelmingly rejected.

    If you want some more info, please PM me OP.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    OP, when you say 'but the sex is bad', do you mean 'not enough of it'? Or more like 'your partner is crap at it'?

    I think I misinterpreted the OP if the answers are anything to go by. I thought you were talking about actual performance...lol.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I'd be fine with it. Sex isn't everything.


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