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  1. #21
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    I personally think you should be in your own little world for a while and have some space on your own. Mr unstable coming on so strong at a vulnerable time for you is ringing alarm bells for me. You need a break and some time to think and be alone. It's great that your hubby is making progress but be very wary that it's not a plot to get you back then fall into old habits.

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    gizmoduckus  (30-10-2013),Jenga  (28-10-2013),Mod-Myztik  (28-10-2013),Mummy Potato  (28-10-2013),NancyBlackett  (28-10-2013),onionskin  (28-10-2013),Witwicky  (30-10-2013)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post
    Yes, Mr Stable is my xdh. Although he is really bending over backs to make some positive changes, so much so I can feel myself falling for him again. Hes listen to me & making me feel loved im just so confused. Space is not an option as we have shared care of DD.

    mr unstable is an old friend of mine. I ended our friendship years ago as it was interfering with my relationship with DH (who wasn't my DH at the time) DH (who was then bf) was uncomfortable with the friendship & tbh rightly so.

    Mr Unstable has recently reappeared, confessed his love for me, wants to be together, he said lots of things, things DH should've said, like he can't bare to be without me, it actually 'hurts' not to have me in his life, wants to build a life together, happy to wait as long as it takes, what does my heart say etc It's pretty full on. I just want to crawl into a cave & wait for the world to pass.
    I actually don't think mr unstable is very nice to say those things when he knows how vulnerable you are... something to think about. He would leave you time to sort out your feeling for your dh if he was such a nice guy, not rush you ya know.
    If either of them are right for you, they wont go anywhere. They will know how special you are and wait hun.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I personally think you should be in your own little world for a while and have some space on your own. Mr unstable coming on so strong at a vulnerable time for you is ringing alarm bells for me. You need a break and some time to think and be alone. It's great that your hubby is making progress but be very wary that it's not a plot to get you back then fall into old habits.
    Thanks Benji. I actually asked DH this yesterday, was he making these changes for me or him & he said both which really, of course that's why he's making an effort. I'm happy he can see his individual need for these changes as much as my need. One day at a time there.

    I'm finding it really hard to be on my own.. I'm SOO bored lol. & I feel uncomfortable not knowing what's going to happen. Feel like I need to do something but feel paralysed.

    MrUnstables reaction/words are just him. He's very emotionally connected. Very empathetic. That's probably why we got along so well. He respected my relationship with DH & never contacted me again. Caught wind of the split and was like 'are you ok? Is he ok? Oh great because I've been waiting years to tell you this..' :-/ don't know what to think.

  6. #24
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    Neither

  7. #25
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    ummm....the one you love (as long as they treat your child well)! and if you don't love either than neither.

    I think if you have to ask you are either 1. not ready for a relationship 2. don't have strong enough feelings for either to make a relationship work.

  8. #26
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    Neither. They don't sound good enough for you or your kids.

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post
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    That's understandable. I just thought, if you had said that you loved one or the other it would be easier to decide, IYKWIM.

    I really think that your heart should rule who you are with. You deserve to be with someone that makes you happy and feel loved and wanted, as well as the security of stability.

  10. #28
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    It sounds as though your ex is trying, sounds like he is willing to make changes to make family life work. Clearly I am not involved but maybe give him and yourself some time apart, I wouldn't let anyone else into the mix just now. Too early ? Too raw ?

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  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post
    Mr Unstable has recently reappeared confessed his love for me like he can't bear to be without me
    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post
    it actually 'hurts' not to have me in his life

    That is actually a little disturbing and a little bit creepy that it “hurts not to have you in his life” – not healthy at all. You want someone that is happy and content with their life and you simply add to their happiness, he sounds desperate and needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post
    Caught wind of the split and was like 'are you ok? Is he ok? Oh great because I've been waiting years to tell you this..
    If he really had your best interests at heart, he wouldn’t be turning up on your doorstep confessing his undying love for you, days after your marriage collapsed. Sorry, but the guys a creep, stay away from him.
    Last edited by unsullied; 28-10-2013 at 15:41.

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  14. #30
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    Option 3 - yourself

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