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  1. #11
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    I'm not a big fan either... Call me selfish, but I think it's nice to receive a gift when someone has put some thought into what I might like (whether I need it or not). It's up to me to donate to charity (and I do support a few charities with regular donations), and if you decide to donate to charity, then that is not really a gift to me...

  2. #12
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    If someone says to you, "instead of buying me a gift this year, I'd like it if you donated to *whichever charity* on my behalf", then that of course is different

  3. #13
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    I just don't see the point in wasting money on materialistic things. The death in the family is quite recent and it has been hard to celebrate special occasions since. It will be a very tough Christmas as it was a very quick passing in someone who was quite young. Of course the kiddies in the family would get a gift as per normal. If there was something I could think of that would make the persons day then sure but these people buy whatever they need or want as they need it!

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by heymegz View Post
    I just don't see the point in wasting money on materialistic things. The death in the family is quite recent and it has been hard to celebrate special occasions since. It will be a very tough Christmas as it was a very quick passing in someone who was quite young. Of course the kiddies in the family would get a gift as per normal. If there was something I could think of that would make the persons day then sure but these people buy whatever they need or want as they need it!
    I think you've answered your own question OP. It sounds like something that would be well received rather than tut tutted behind your back. When someone has recently passed I really don't think they'll think anything negative about your very thoughtful gesture.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I think you've answered your own question OP. It sounds like something that would be well received rather than tut tutted behind your back. When someone has recently passed I really don't think they'll think anything negative about your very thoughtful gesture.
    Thank you. My struggle was more with that it's my hubby's side of the family who lost a family member and although I know them all quite well I just wasn't sure. Thank you everyone for your opinions. I think if it was just a random donation for no reason it would seem rude and lazy in a way but I really want to make this year a bit more thoughtful . Back to the useless presents next year! I don't think it would be appreciated or as special if it was every year. Of course I will still donate in the future but this year I can donate a fair amount more if I don't spend it on presents that probably will never be looked at twice!

  6. #16
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    I would love it if someone made a donation to charity for me instead of something useless I don't need

    I've done it sometimes and sort of tailored the donation to the person I'm buying the gift for. A lot of charities do Christmas catalogues where you can get something specific for people- I've bought poor families sheep, pigs, chola, seeing machines, and donated money for someone to have cataracts removed. I picked each one knowing the person I'm buying the gift for would like it
    Last edited by TheMadHatter; 27-10-2013 at 22:03.

  7. #17
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    Chooks not chola!


 

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