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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by FITCHICK View Post

    Lastly.. Pregnancy hormones.. And I mean that in the nicest possibly way. It's normal to be questioning everything & freaking out a little bit about the future with the pending arrival of a new bub.
    I agree with this bit particularly. My mum has always said to me "Don't make any life changing decisions while you're pregnant". Never underestimate the power of pregnancy hormones!!

    I made a couple if dumb decisions while I was pregnant with my second. In hindsight I can see that I was heavily under the influence of those hormones and was freaking out.

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    Mummy Potato  (29-10-2013),SimplyMum  (29-10-2013)

  3. #42
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    Thanks Hollywood & Fitchick your advice is very good as is everyone else's.

    I think I am extra sensitive but possibly more aware/awake to things I've not wanted to admit to myself before.

    I asked DH what HE would do/say if I told him that my bio kids always have & always will be my number 1 priority and that keeping their dad happy was also my priority. He told me he'd leave me that very day.
    I find it interesting that he thinks him saying it is acceptable but if I did for him it would be a deal breaker.

    I'm not really someone who will fight or try to change someone's ideas/opinions. I don't think you can make someone think or do something they aren't really on board with & if you can I think it leads to further resentment/problems.

    It just sucks as I've know DH since I was a kid & never have I felt like I could just cut him out of my life & forget about him. I feel like I don't know him at all as he's been very vocal since I've been pregnant & while there's things I've ignored it's like a slap in the face to hear him say it.

    I'm definetly going to see a counsellor

  4. #43
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    He is acting like a complete poohead. I wish I could have a word with him for making a pregnant woman feel so lousy

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  6. #44
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    Hey OP, just wanted to send you some hugs, it sounds like you are in an awful situation right now. xoxo

  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Yep pregnant with a hard to get bub.

    Since I've gotten pregnant he has pointedly told me that DSD always is & always has been no 1 priority in his life
    Very different from him telling me all the children are of equal importance. He says I agreed to this the day we married. In addition I agreed to keeping his ex happy wtf??

    He has also told me that certain things will not be happening with this bub as his DD never got that.
    I've pointed out I wasn't part of those decisions, they were between him & his ex.

    He's told me I have a week to decide if I agree to that & if not terminate & he'll leave.

    To say I'm shattered is an understatement.
    To be honest I can see why his ex isn't with him Sorry but I'd tell him to pack his bags and you're not terminating. Okay fair enough his CHILDREN meaning ALL HIS CHILDREN are his number 1 priority but he can't sit there and say this child is second to his first.. that's just ridiculous and not fair on your baby. You need to put a stop to this now hon. If he can't step up and being a good parent to both children...

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  9. #46
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    Op how are you going?

  10. #47
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    I can absolutely understand how he might be feeling in regards to his daughter not being treated the same as this one, etc. I often think about how I might be a little bit unfair with my DD... just because whatever sibling I give her will have 2 parents, who love each other, who planned to have it, who are financially able to have it, etc etc. DD doesn't have that. She didn't have that. I worry that I'll want to overcompensate for that fact with her. So I get that.

    But instead of just being a bit worried, he sounds like he's being a nasty jerk, bossing you around and telling you what will and won't happen without letting you have any say.

    It sounds like you've got bigger issues to deal with than whether or not he'll be fair.

  11. #48
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    Hi ladies

    i just want to update that I have just a few weeks until my little man arrives
    im currently still with DH but hanging by a very frayed thread. Mentally & financially I'm set to leave if need be. DH still carries on with his odd ideas but I just ignore him.

    Im in certain he has some issues but I do not have the energy to help him sort them out particularly when he believes he doesn't have a problem. Telling me our newborn will need to just cry so he's not a sook, that he can't sleep in our room, that our noisy house will continue as such because too bad for the baby, telling me that medical choices and me breast feeding need to be the same as for his daughter is just crazy. Decisions made for his daughter have never been mine to make, decisions for my son are.

    I think think life will be very interesting for me over the next couple of months

  12. #49
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    He sounds abusive. He may not be physically abusive, but that kind of controlling behaviour is a form of abuse. Please get him some psychological help.

    "...dreaming of a belly full of life..."

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  14. #50
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    These are very weird requests and comments from your DH, OP. It's good that you can see that he's being unreasonable, because he certainly is!

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