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  1. #291
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    O Calstar

    big big hugs. I'm sorry you and DH are going through this. Give him some time.....and you too!

    You are still a team! Women and men can behave differently when it comes to going through something like this....if it was you, you might want to get into all the detail with DH, hash things out, explore different possibilities right from the get go - whereas he sounds like he needs to go through things in his own head at the moment. He must feel like he's letting you (ie the team) down

    Sorry to make assumptions - just trying to be helpful.....I hope I am anyway

    It's good that he did give you a summary of sorts though! And he's willing to move forward with other testing - that's pretty awesome.

    xxxxxxxooooooo

  2. #292
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    Oh Calstar. I wish it was better news so you weren't having to go through this.

    I think littleduck is right, hopefully given done time your DH will come around. And maybe having a chat with him to let him know you are a team and that you want to be there for him might be beneficial fir him to hear...

    Pm be if you need. We are all here for you if you need.. X


    Angel Baby ~Skye~ 21/11/2012

  3. #293
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    Oh im so sorry to hear calstar.. what a difficult situation you are in!
    Af still hasnt arrived here... im wondering when I should go back to the doctors?
    On better news...
    I woke up this afternoon (I am on my night shift week end) and my ferret has had babies.... that kinda makes me a mum doesnt it?

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  5. #294
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    Calstar - do you know anyone in a similar situation that he could talk to?

    He has had his manhood questioned and he probably feels terrible that it is his body that is letting everything down. Some men go through depression after finding out such news.

    Try and think of something he would like to do and treat him - let him know how special he is and that you will work through it together - he probably just needs some processing time first.

    I'm no expert, but it would appear to me that IVF would be an option in the future depending on his other results as well of course. We almost went down this road but were given one last go on fert. meds after a lap and we got our first little bean.

    It does feel horrible being the one letting the team down - it has been my body both times that has caused the issues - first infertility and now it kills off the babies.

    Go and do something fun together.

    At least you know now where things are at. Big hugs.

  6. #295
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calstar View Post
    Hi ladies. Thank you all for the positive vibes & caring words.
    I'd love to be coming in here today saying I feel better, or that I have positive news, but I don't.
    DH was gone for an hour, so I was dreading his return. When he came home, his face said it all.
    I didn't push it, I wanted him to tell me.
    He just said "It's not good"
    He didn't bring a print out home (which I'm a little frustrated about) so I'm still really confused as to how big an issue we have or where exactly the issue lies.
    But the info I did get from him is - His sperm count is high (above average apparently the Dr said) but 40% of those are dead, 30% are below par quality wise, and 30% are ok.
    I don't know rates re. mobility, morphology etc because he didn't bring the report home & "there were so many different numbers" DH can't remember everything.
    I didn't think 30% good sperm was too bad, but he said the Dr said it wasn't good.
    I wish I was there to get all the information first hand.
    She wants him to do another test to compare the results, which he'll be doing early this coming week. If the results are the same, he's getting a referral to fertility specialist at Flinders Hospital for further tests or something.

    It's been incredibly hard at home since he got back from the doctors. He's being very guarded in what he's telling me. He's not really talking about anything much at all. He won't accept any comments I make to him.
    At the moment he's completely shutting me out. Which is actually killing me more than any results.
    We're meant to be a team, but he won't let me in and I'm just so confused over the little information I've been given about the results.
    Hi calstar
    From what I read from my dh sa,

    above 31% normal movement is fine
    Your dh is only just under so should be fine

    Above 39% of total alive sperm (moving well and not moving well)
    Your result was 60%

    And it doesn't have a normal range needed for dead sperm

    But my dh had 60% dead, 37% normal movement and 2% not normal movement and we have conceived twice

    I really dont think its that bad. Maybe just more zinc, vitamin c
    Did he abstain for only 2-3 days?
    But definently look into help if you know your dtd at the right time and its been a while

    Biggest of hugs. xxxx
    Last edited by Kazza78; 09-11-2013 at 13:27.

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  8. #296
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    Sorry to hear Calstar, maybe give him some time to cope with his diagnosis and come to terms with it. Hopefully he comes around and is able to talk about it with you or with someone else.

    Well sore now after my ultrasound this morning and much poorer because of it, I don't know why they bother giving you the cost of the scan before hand when they decide to add an extra $60 to it when the scan went no longer then it was meant to. Have also bought 5 maternity bras on sale at Myer and some maternity shorts from jeans west today just to add to my lack of funds,

  9. #297
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    Quote Originally Posted by wobblermummy View Post
    Sorry to hear Calstar, maybe give him some time to cope with his diagnosis and come to terms with it. Hopefully he comes around and is able to talk about it with you or with someone else.

    Well sore now after my ultrasound this morning and much poorer because of it, I don't know why they bother giving you the cost of the scan before hand when they decide to add an extra $60 to it when the scan went no longer then it was meant to. Have also bought 5 maternity bras on sale at Myer and some maternity shorts from jeans west today just to add to my lack of funds,
    That's weird, how can they blame you for it going longer?!

  10. #298
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    no they shouldnt not impressed but need to find out whats happening.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #299
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    Hey guys.
    Things have got better as the days gone on.
    We're talking again now. You can tell we are still both hurting inside though, and I'm on very thin emotional ice right now.
    DH has said he feels like everything is his fault & that he feels so bad. I've told him its not his fault we're struggling. That we both have things that aren't quite right.
    He has said about improving his diet & he'll start taking menevit again (he took them for about a week when we first started ttc but stopped because they apparently made his nuts ache) but he'll be starting on them again. Reducing his alcohol intake, something I've been on at him about for a while (he's not a heavy drinker but will often have at least one a night - my dads an alcoholic & that's why it bothers me).
    He's even said he'll try boxers, something I didn't expect as he hates things bouncing around. So he's willing & eager to try and improve his results.
    Does anyone have any tips??
    We went to the cinema this arvo. It was good to get out & be together but not have the pressure of having to talk.
    I think things will get better as the days go by and the initial impact of the results have worn off.
    I've said this doesn't mean we can't get pregnant, that he hadn't failed in making us parents. But that it may just take a bit longer than usual, or we may need a little help along the way.

    I want to thank you all for caring so much. I'm not sure what id do without you all here to lend an ear and a cyber hug when needed. We don't really have anyone else irl to talk to.

    Wobbler I hope they can find out what the problem is & that it isn't too serious and won't cause you or bub any issues.
    Cheeky sods charging you extra though!!

    Big hugs to everyone from your favourite squishy xox

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  13. #300
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    That's great calstar


 

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