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  1. #1
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    Default Need opinions/advice on this situation **possible trigger

    Not sure if i have posted in the right place but my best friend of 20 years & her DH have made a decision which i am having a difficult time accepting (its really none of my business but she is reaching out to me for support & i want to be there for her but i am finding it difficult to put my personal feelings/beliefs aside this time & just support her) what do i do ? Heres a rundown of the situation ...

    My friend & her DH have 6 girls between them (he has 4 from a previous relationship & they have 2 together - he sees the other 4 part time & he is a wonderful father to all of his girls from what i'm told, my friend also has a close relationship with his girls)

    Friends DH desperately wants a son & so they have agreed to TTC another child BUT they are going to get the gender DNA test done when she is 9 weeks pregnant (this test is 99 % accurate) & if the results come back that the baby is another girl then they are going to terminate ... she said they are willing to do this a couple of times before they 'give up'

    DH & i are blessed with 3 beautiful daughters so i guess i am taking her decision to heart a little bit IYKWIM

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    I guess its up to them, but I personally couldn't/wouldn't terminate based on what gender the baby was. Each to their own though. Sorry I'm not much help.

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    wow. what ages are the girls.?? what age is the dh?? I would really struggle with this too. If they are so set on ONLY one son, can they not try to do something else. filter his sperm so only "Y" ones are implanted?? try a 'diet' that encourages "boy" sperm?? surely there has to be a better way then possible repeat abortions. I really do feel sorry for your friend, and sorry for the girls in the family. They might be feeling a bit unworthy if this conversation got to them. Marie.

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    That's disgusting.

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    Pure evil in my humble opinion.

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    I am so against this... every child no matter the gender is a blessing and there are ppl out there who cant have children and would love to have 1 girl let alone 6..

    personally i feel they are being extremely selfish and it saddens me greatly that there are people like that out there..

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    She's making it your business by leaning on you for support. If you are against the idea then I think you should just say "look, I'm not really comfortable with the idea so perhaps it would be better if we didn't talk about it and you find someone else who can support you". You might lose a friendship over it but that's life - if your friends don't share your beliefs and it's a friendship dealbreaker than so be it.

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    I agree with @Hulahoop. There is no way I could be a support to a person going through this, no matter how good a friend they were. And I consider myself pro choice, but still I find this repulsive.

    TBH I'm not sure I could remain friends with her. If she ever had a boy I'd be wracked with all sorts of thoughts about how many foetuses were terminated to get that child. It would torture me.

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  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hulahoop View Post
    She's making it your business by leaning on you for support. If you are against the idea then I think you should just say "look, I'm not really comfortable with the idea so perhaps it would be better if we didn't talk about it and you find someone else who can support you". You might lose a friendship over it but that's life - if your friends don't share your beliefs and it's a friendship dealbreaker than so be it.
    Thats what i'm afraid of - that this might be a dealbreaker for a basically life long friendship as everytime she mentions it, it makes me so sad ... I really dont want to lose her friendship over this but i just dont know how i can support something i am so against ...

  15. #10
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    I'm surprised your friend has been so open with such a plan.

    I guess all you can do if you are uncomfortable with it it tell her that.



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