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  1. #21
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    My brother and wife had a false allegation made against them to child services, it ended up being a neighbour who didn't like that they started a live (acoustic) music venue in their bar, even though they had a license to do so.

    It really is just about one of the most awful things, being accused of being a bad parent, and if you are innocent, the fact is you are forever tainted by the allegations.

    Sure mandatory means mandatory = but it does not mean innocent people don't fall through the cracks.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I have already asked not to be quoted on this. There is NO point trying to explain when you have never been there before. OK I am supporting the OP and I am not posting to answer others who obviously never been in this situation.
    Sorry to quote you again, but I hadn't seen your other post before I quoted. Also, that's rather naive to think people quoting you have 'obviously never been in this situation'.

  3. #23
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    Sorry you had to go through this op... I'm glad your dh got onto it asap! You both sound like great parents, nut I do have to agree with the other posters.

    They have to report if children are "at risk" of harm or neglect... The risk being... What if... What if you couldn't calm him down? What if he took it out on your children? It was an adverse reaction to medication that hadn't happened before, it was put of character... So it "could" have happened, thats the risk, and why it was reported.

    In the statistics, its something like 40% (don't quote me, its been about 5yrs since I done my mandated reporting refresher) of claims don't even get looked into because they find theres no need, some get a visit and things are deemed fine, no action is taken, some need regular visits with support, some get court orders for a range of things (from just allowing then to check in on families, to setting things like completing an aa course, to custody) in a very very small percentage of cases children are removed.

    its upsetting I know, but really, if you are good parents and your children are happy, healthy, safe, and cared for.... I wouldnt worry about it as you are doing your job right. They could come and check you out... But what would they find? If everything is as it should be, don't worry, move on, and put this terrible drama behind you!

    Sent from my GT-S5830T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Sorry to quote you again, but I hadn't seen your other post before I quoted. Also, that's rather naive to think people quoting you have 'obviously never been in this situation'.
    Thanks for telling a rather down and depressed mother here to support another down and depressed mother that I am naïve. Great support bubhub! Unless you have had it happen to you, you have NO IDEA how humiliating it is to an otherwise completely NORMAL family.
    Last edited by ozeymumof5; 21-10-2013 at 16:59.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I agree with Delirium - these things need to be reported.

    Please be assured that if the only thing on "record" is a report, and no action was taken, then it is completely confidential and the only people who will ever see/know it are child protection practitioners. It is not a criminal charge, it is not available to employers or anyone else. You are basically in the same position as someone who was reported and it was found that the report was completely false - the record will still be there but nothing will come of it without further incident.
    Exactly this. I think the only thing the police could have done differently is perhaps notify you on the day that they were mandated to make a report. However, it may have been their assessment that this would have further compromised the situation and upset your DH further at the time. The Police did not know it was a one off or that DH had even taken medication.

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  7. #26
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    I would rather see 100 people be reported 'just in case' - if it meant potentially saving 1 child from danger.

    I would not like to be a person who needs to make a judgement call on whether it was a one off incident or whether it happens regularly.

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  9. #27
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    I haven't read any replies yet.

    It sounds like you have gone through a really frightening experience. And I am not doubting that you are a good mother.

    However I can not see how the police have done anything wrong. The police were called by you to your house because your husband drank too much while taking new medication and become violent. Your husband made some bad choices and it is his fault for what you went through not the police's.

    I'm sorry the social worker was in such an attacking mode when you spoke with her, that must have made a tough situation even more scarey. However I think it is a good thing that you were referred to SA families. You should find comfort that someone cared about your kids enough to make a phone call. They might be able to provide you with additional support to get through things.

    If you want to protect your family then try not to attack the police. Addressing your husbands drinking/issues is a better plan.

    Good luck...

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    Thanks for telling a rather down and depressed mother here to support another down and depressed mother that I am naïve. Great support bubhub! Unless you have had it happen to you, you have NO IDEA how humiliating it is to an otherwise completely NORMAL family.
    But that's exactly my point, you DON'T know that other posters haven't had a similar thing happen.

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  12. #29
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    Im another mandatory reporter. The system is by no means flawless. But I know for a fact for every innocent person reported there are numerous reported that are guilty, but not nearly as many that should be. Some of the children I see that suffer malnutrition and neglect at the hands of their parents is far too many. Im sorry to that this happened to you op. But the good news is you have nothing to hide and this ordeal is behind you and wont ever br brought up again as youve done notjing wrong.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I have already asked not to be quoted on this. There is NO point trying to explain when you have never been there before. OK I am supporting the OP and I am not posting to answer others who obviously never been in this situation.
    When posting on an open internet forum its a strong likelihood that people may want to comment on/question your statements.
    - If people quote you don't answer if you don't want to. It's that simple.

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