Unless my child had a reason (i.e.: failsafe etc), then I probably wouldn't. My eldest doesn't have a lot of sugar because he reacts badly to it, but I let him go for it at parties.
My youngest has Type 1 Diabetes, but can eat anything that other children eat. In fact, children with diabetes these days are advised to enjoy parties as they would if they didn't have diabetes, they just require insulin to cover the food they are eating. Childhood first, diabetes second
I would never judge someone who brought their own food to a party, I would just assume that they had a reason and then not really think much of it.
We don't have sugar in the home, honey yes, not refined sugar. It's not a medical thing, just an overall health thing. When DD goes to birthday parties I tend to let her have what she likes as I know she'll recover from it, and eat well at home on an ongoing basis. But for some kids it's much more damaging so who am I judge? Parents know best for their own child.
When I do parties I make sure there is a lot of protein, fruit, veg etc as well as sweeter stuff so the kids can choose from a range, not just sugary junk.
I am very anti sugar free... I used to live sugar free and have my children on a sugar free diet and it made all of us react horribly on an odd occasion eating sugar. So I can understand why people who are sugar free rarely eat it. It took me a long time to rebuild mine and my children's tolerence to sugar so we could eat it occasionally in moderation.
Now though they are fine to have it and when they are acting out I discipline their behaviour rather than saying it's because they have asd and ate a certain food. I always get told how remarkably well behaved they are and they eat sugar regularly in moderation.
Having said that though even though im anti sugar free because I thonk it creates more problems, someone being sugar free is none of my business. If they have a party for their kid they should be allowed to do what they want ie. Make it sugar free because one party sugar free makes no difference to us. Just like I wouldn't make a sugar free party for my kids I don't expect someone of opposing beliefs to go against their own.
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Now it seems that we can't even have the smallest amount of sugar without it affecting us badly, so I've been wondering if having no sugar is good or bad. Is there a happy medium that can be reached without the emotional backlash we all seem to suffer?
On topic, when we go to parties/bbqs etc, we steer our children to sugar-free or less sugar options. E.g. chips, dips, sausage rolls, fruit, etc. Certainly no lollies. They are usually allowed a small piece of cake and we just endure the fallout afterwards. If we are asked to contribute food I'll take a sugar-free option so that I know there will be at least one thing there that my girls can eat -- popcorn, rice crackers, fruit platter. We explain to our girls the reasons why they can't have certain foods -- it's never just a blanket NO.
What other parents allow/ don't allow their children to eat is their business and as long as the child/ren isn't malnourished who are we to judge?
Trusty chords - That is interesting to me too. We don't eat much refined sugar (lots of other 'whole' sweet things though) and I have actually had the opposite experience! My kids would react horribly to sugar 2 years ago... tantrums, tears, sleeplessness, but now they actually don't seem to react at all to the odd bit here and there. So in our case, getting rid of it mostly has decreased our reactions.
To answer the OP, although we don't eat much sugar at home, I am very happy for my kids to eat some at parties. DD1 has coeliac disease though, so she is already limited by that and I prefer her not to be limited too much further socially.
My middle and youngest child both had a lot of legitimate food intolorance main being dairy and even resulted in hospitalisation. We started challenging the tolerances at around 2 years with both boys just little bits at a time gradually increasing. Now both boys can have healthy amounts of all the things that made them violently ill. Had I kept it out of their diet all together they would still have huge reactions but we treated it as exposure therapy.
I treated sugar the same way because once out of your system totally your body has lost the tolerance it built. It was very hard to reintroduce because it made us all irritable and horrible feeling. I even was reacting poorly to natural sugars. The thing is it's part physiological part psychological from my experience so it was all about retraining myself to not beat myself up about eating sugar in moderation.
I feel fine when I eat it now and I can stop at one thing I don't overeat eat it becsuse I know its easily to become addicted again. I also started taking an anti fungal for 4 months that treated my skin reactions to sugar so now when I eat it my skin doesnt break out. Removing sugar actually made the fungal infection worse and I have read when its starved in the digestive tract of sugsr to feed on it moves out of there in search of sugar spreading to other parts of the body which makes sense.
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My kids do have sugar at parties but before we go I will remind them that they can't have too much. Eg if there's lollies on the table I will let them have a few and no more, only one serving of juice, one small piece of cake etc.
with lolly bags I will let them choose 1 thing to have, one for later then sneakily dispose (eat myself) of the rest.
If there are no medical reasons I would think parents should relax the rules a little however I would not say this to the parent, I would just be thinking it in my mind and no I would not mind if they brought their own food to the party.
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