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  1. #51
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    Babies and children do cost a lot, and factoring in not only the expenses but loss of income when you have a baby how can it not be a factor. And you no what everyones priorities are different. My priorities are being able to enjoy nice holidays with my children and be able to buy them a new top for a disco, just because its different doesn't mean its wrong. And its not the kids tht need nice things, I love to be able to make memories and enjoy what our hard earned money helps create.

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  3. #52
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    Is it ok to 'family plan' when your financial plan is based purely on Government assistance and no personal work ethic or effort? No. It's not ok. It's selfish. [Disclaimer: not talking about existing children and change of circumstances. Purely about future children].

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  5. #53
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    I don't care how much welfare a family gets or needs to survive, my only concern is how well the kids are looked after. If they are struggling with their current kids than they shouldn't be having any more until they know they can cope.
    Financials don't really enter into it for me, we struggle from time to time (but manage well with minimal assistance most of the year). We always make do, we don't smoke, drink or gamble, we budget well and I can stretch out a meal (we also make our own bread and yogurt, have chickens, and use left overs).
    We will be sending the kids to public school, but we will be making sure they have a great education (we'll tutor the kids ourself and organize music or sports activities if they are really interested in doing those sorts of things).
    I know some people want their kids to have a room each and attend privet school (and that's fine ), but these are luxuries not necessities.




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  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    Is it ok to 'family plan' when your financial plan is based purely on Government assistance and no personal work ethic or effort? No. It's not ok. It's selfish. [Disclaimer: not talking about existing children and change of circumstances. Purely about future children].
    What about carers or people with a disability or for that matter students?

  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    What about carers or people with a disability or for that matter students?
    Great question and i'm not 100% how I feel about the first 2 populations but I feel students can wait if they want a child but can not afford one at the time. I don't feel having children is a basic human right.
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 19-10-2013 at 13:59. Reason: to add

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  10. #56
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    Its all too common isnt it, seems the low socio-economic stereotyped groups have more kids than they can seemingly provide for.

    My life hasnt turned out the way I'd envisiaged, not by a long shot. I have 1 7yr old with disabilities, and Im divorced from her father. For her 1st 5 yrs I could not work. Now that she's in school 9-3 I have had the opportunity to work at her school during those hrs, and still remain her carer.

    However... I met a man, we we're in it together 'forever', we planned a child, Im pregnant, and now he's gone. So im soon to be a single mum/carer to a 7yr old and an infant, so now i cant even work school hrs So yes, i reply very very heavily on carers payment from centrelink. If it werent for that, we'd be in serious trouble. As it is its hard to stretch to dollar to the lifestyle that we used to know, and its taking some time to learn to rebudget and live within my means. Adding a baby to the mix... its going to be hard and I didnt wish for this life.

    BUT such is life. So while I wouldnt CHOSE to live on centrelink support, thats my reality and im so grateful I have that support.
    I can see 1st hand how things can get a lot different, very fast, and people find themselves in serious financial grief. BUT in saying that, i would never be so irresponsible to fall pregnant again. ever. It would not be fair on the child/ren, the system or myself.
    Onwards and upwards from here, and hopefully within a yr or two I will no longer be relying solely on centrelink to provide for my family (although I will still always recieve some carer benifits and family tax etc).

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  12. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    What about carers or people with a disability or for that matter students?
    I feel if your a carer thats falls into a job category for me. Disabled if your physically able to care for a child why not? Student well it happens and I guess your priorities are your studying for a better job and future for your lo? Imo.

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    Some people study for many, many, many years - specialist doctors for example. If they wish to start a family, you know, before they're in their 40s why shouldn't they? If their other half is at home raising the baby and they study...what's the issue? I really don't see why they should have to wait.

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  15. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    Is it ok to 'family plan' when your financial plan is based purely on Government assistance and no personal work ethic or effort? No. It's not ok. It's selfish. [Disclaimer: not talking about existing children and change of circumstances. Purely about future children].
    You are right, I agree with this statement. But it got me thinking about the reality that we can never stop people having children. Think about the third world for instance. People that are having children knowing full well they will either contract disease or die of starvation, in the first few years of life in many cases. I understand contraception access is an issue. But I'm also sure there are many of them who just want to experience parenthood and bring a life into the world, regardless of their circumstances.

    So you cannot take away someone's human right to breed even if the child has zero chance of survival. No matter how 'selfish' the parent is being. This is just humanity's rules. All we can do is be thankful we are in Australia, and we do not have to see malnourished children on a daily basis because our government steps in and looks after them when the parents can't. Our children don't die from plages and diseases because our govt steps in and provides vaccination and medical care when their parents can't. Is it a strain or burden on our country? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes. But imagine life without it?


    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards

  16. #60
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    I guess I look at this Q a completely different way.

    Some of my kids were specifically "planned" and others were lovely surprises - we don't use contraception so no child is completely unexpected but there have been big natural gaps which led us to belive a couple if times that we must be finished .

    My philosophy is that children are a natural by-product of the love DH and I share.

    So - while I would never tell other people how many kids they should or shouldn't have, I do think that we should accept all those we're given.

    My observation is that that's what happens in many of those larger poorer families - children are unplanned but accepted and I'm quite happy for my taxes to support all kids.

    FTR, we receive the same amount of family payments as I pay in tax on my income. I think that DH's role as a SAHD is worth way more than money anyway. Our kids never go without financially but possibly do miss some parental attention - but I teach some only children and those from small families with both parents working who receive much less parental time than ours get so I don't think mine are deprived. Mine often have a captive audience of 10!

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