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  1. #41
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    Everyone classified as less than high income receives government assistance in some form, whether that be PP, ftb, ccb, ccr, mat leave or whatever else there is.

    I hate how one payment is acceptable, yet another isn't.

    I hate that people think they can put a magical number on how many children you should have as if they know your reasons.

    I hate that the people to begrudge lower income benefits would be the first to stamp their feet if one of their assistance payments were cut.

    Questions like these can't be answered with a one size fits all mentality.

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  3. #42
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    I dont really understand the idea of 'I want 3 kids, but I can only afford 2, so thats all we will have'. What is all of this added expense that an extra child brings? I still pay thr same bills, same rego, same rent/mortgage. My kids ccan wear hand me down s for at least the first 5-8 years until they really start to care about them. I will have to buy them a bed.... a little extra food.... I just dont get how one extra child is so expensive. Ive said I want 4 kids & people tell me 'but then yiu will have to buy a new house!' Oh yes, my chilfren each MUST have their own bedroom. I think we all have different ideas of ehat we want to provide our children. I dont want to provide my children with lots of expensive gadgets and stuff. I want to provide them with a happy and healthy and fun childhood. I dont think young children NEED a lot of th ' expensive tings that we thjnk are so necessary to make them happy.

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  5. #43
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    I think kids do cost a lot, I can already see in my food bill as DS gets older it is going to cost a LOT to feed him. It sort of already does lol. They do turn into teenagers, too.. I remember all of the things I "needed" at that age. But we always manage somehow.

    I grew up poor but in the most loving, stress-free, amazing home imaginable.

  6. #44
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    The thing that erks me about this thread is the notion that money is the be all and end all of raising children. This is so beyond wrong.

    For example - I came from similar circumstances to OP, we lived in govt housing, were dependant on welfare to support the family and shock horror, even had wardrobes full of second hand clothes! There were 2 of us. So yes we were in poverty but I can honestly say we still had a lovely childhood. We were poor in cash but rich in love. We walked to the local park instead of being driven to sports and classes. But none of it mattered because we were happy. We were safe, warm and loved. My parents battled addiction issues but still managed to be decent parents. They regularly went without meals so we could eat. and as a result I am now a well balanced and happy 20yo.

    DH came from exactly the opposite upbringing. He is one of 7 children and his parents have money. They had vacations and activities and private schooling. They weren't at all reliant on welfare so they were never judged for this huge family. Everyone praised his mother and thought she was amazing. What they didn't know is that behind closed doors life was truly ****ty for them. All the money in the world couldn't help the fact she'd had 7 kids and couldn't emotionally meet all their needs. Eventually she found herself unable to cope with the stress and began handling their behaviour with violent punishments. DH has so many mum issues I wouldn't know where to begin. He would have traded the nice house, flash cars and weekend hockey games in a second to have mummy to himself for a day.

    Yet if I lined both our families up side by side many on this thread would judge mine and praise his. Meeting him and seeing how a large family has affected him truly opened my eyes. Money doesn't mean jack if you can't meet your children's emotional needs. That's extremely hard for any woman to do when there are 7 of them. I have 1 and it's a full time job so I truly don't understand how people think they can meet every emotional, mental, physical and financial need of 7+ kids at the same time.


    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards

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  8. #45
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    I would also like 'welfare' defined. If we are talking about govt assistance does that include those that recieve CCR and FTB?

    We recieve some FTB. I get a tiny bit of PP. But my husband works, we both study as well. Our FTB + PP would probably go close to equaling CCR for some that get the max amount. Does that make me any less worthy?

    look, I admit one of my huge bug bares is couples that actively ttc then whinge constantly how broke they are. As babies they are cheap, but at school age they cost a fortune. We are finally having our third, but while we aren't on a big income we are extremely frugal, we have savings, our children have anything, if anything are spoilt rotten.

    So for me it isn't your income, but how bad finances are. If you are struggling to put food on the table and pay rent, then yes, I think it's a really bad idea to deliberately have another baby.

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  10. #46
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    Lalasmooch I think that's a really good point. Middle class neglect and mistreatment is often hidden so people assume it's "those welfare bludgers". Having a bit of cash doesn't make someone a good or bad parent.

  11. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I would also like 'welfare' defined. If we are talking about govt assistance does that include those that recieve CCR and FTB?

    We recieve some FTB. I get a tiny bit of PP. But my husband works, we both study as well. Our FTB + PP would probably go close to equaling CCR for some that get the max amount. Does that make me any less worthy?

    look, I admit one of my huge bug bares is couples that actively ttc then whinge constantly how broke they are. As babies they are cheap, but at school age they cost a fortune. We are finally having our third, but while we aren't on a big income we are extremely frugal, we have savings, our children have anything, if anything are spoilt rotten.

    So for me it isn't your income, but how bad finances are. If you are struggling to put food on the table and pay rent, then yes, I think it's a really bad idea to deliberately have another baby.
    Congrats

  12. #48
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    Three is my limit. My husband was born overseas and his family still live there so visiting family is a must. Just bought 5 tickets to Ireland for $5799. That's for 2 adults, 2 children and an infant. We were bloody lucky with that price! And guess what, we used the money we got from ftb to pay for the tickets as we get our ftb annually because my husband's income is unpredictable being he is self employed and his own company. Some years we get nothing, this year we got $5k.

  13. #49
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    I think thats the point though. We all want different things for our kids. 3 years ago having a 3rd child for us would mean alot of financial sacrifice and my 2 kids I already had would have missed out on alot and the lifestyle they had already would have been spread over 3. I didnt want that for them. Now, im having a 3rd as we can afford to do it the way we want and provide they way we want to. But that's just us and what we want for our kids. Yes money is not everything my kids are far from spoiled. But our income does provide opportunities such as travel overseas and experiences like that we want to share with them. We receive nothing from the goverment and most of the time we have tax bills as we are self employed or contracted. But whats importent to me may not be to others. Its my kids so my way.

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  14. #50
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    I think money is part of it, but not the only decision-making factor. I wouldn't have any more children if I wasn't financially or psychologically capable of taking care of them, I think that's just a responsible approach. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford a 5br house in a nice neighbourhood and private schooling - I mean afford as in food on the table, bills paid, kids clothed.

    Life happens - people split up, lose jobs, get sick or injured, go broke, and end up struggling with the kids they had when circumstances were better. I think those sort of circumstances are very different to someone who is already heavily reliant on govt assistance, with no intention of ever trying to earn an income through paid employment, consciously deciding to have more children at the detriment to their existing children. I would imagine those people are relatively rare though.

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