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  1. #31
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    I haven't read any replies yet. I think:
    * everyone (assuming they will be decent parents) has the right to have kids regardless of wealth
    * If someone cant work/cant support themselves/is living solely on welfare then I think the decent thing for them to do is to stop after 2 kids
    * If a low income family with at least one working parents is receiving a large chunk of their income from welfare then I think the decent thing for them to do would be to plan to stop at 4 kids
    * If someone supporting themselves, with lots of kids, through no fault of their own falls on tough times then our social welfare system should support them
    Last edited by VicPark; 19-10-2013 at 11:54.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miados2007 View Post
    Geez, op is not trying to offend anyone with (define large families on welfare) she simply poses a question. 99% of readers get this point it's not offensive or mean or trying to single anyone out. Its just asking based on individual circumstances. It doesnt matter how many kids a family has or what is classed as a big family or what welfare payments you receive its just a discussion. If anyone for that matter can have multiple kids and rely on centrelink to feed them, cloth them, and shelter them and sleep at night and be happy about it more power to you. Other families keep to a minimum size and still get by just fine. Others work their asses off to provide their ideal lifestyle for the children they choose to have.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I get that she not trying to offend, I honestly do. She is a lovely hubber and I respect her.
    I am however pointing out that it is offensive.

    You also made my point.
    It doesn't matter how many kids they have already.

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  5. #33
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    Exactly. I was agreeing with you both.

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  7. #34
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    I have removed that post completely as I was not happy with it. Having one more no matter however many you have if you can not afford it and I agree the number you have already is irrelevant. No-one is more worthy then anyone else of having however many children they want but it's not about what the parents want. It's about what is best for the children they already have.
    I am not having a go at people with large families - I am not having a go at anyone. I am trying to open discussion around this. And as a child that came from a very poor, welfare dependent family I do know what it is like to be that child.

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  9. #35
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    I don't think it's really up to us to decide what is and isn't OK for other families. Personally I would stop having children if I thought I could not afford them. What other families do is up to them. I think there are a lot of cases where families have X amount of children and they are judged as welfare bludgers or whatever nasty terms people have come up with but mental health issues, their past (perhaps they lost their job), etc is not taken into consideration. I also think for a lot of families if they waited until they were 100% able to support their children with absolutely NO assistance (such as CCB, CCR, FTB, etc) well they'd never have kids and I will never, ever agree with the idea that children are a right reserved only for those financially well off.

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  11. #36
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    I have thought about this a lot in terms of my own family and my view is that children are a privilege not a right, and all children have the right to be raised in an environment without ongoing and avoidable stress. I am not talking about stress that is intermittent or unavoidable, unless it continues and is harming the children. I have been thinking about this as a friend who separated from her husband last year continues to struggle to help her children adjust and I see the ongoing stress her youngest is under. The situation is unavoidable and my friend is doing everything she can to help her daughter, but seeing a young child under that much stress is, well, distressing.

    So I guess for me my mantra would be that children should, so far as is possible be raised in an environment without avoidable and ongoing stress. If that stress comes from financial tension from having "more kids than you can afford" then I wouldn't say it was ok. But if it was only intermittent then I wouldn't have a problem.

    I'm not saying kids should never experience stress, or that hard times are the end of the world. We have made decisions which made our kids' lives stressful at times but it wasn't a stress without end.

    Hope this makes sense. Not getting much sleep at the moment.

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  13. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chunkydunks View Post
    This is one thing I struggle with. I only have one child but we will always have to rely on benefits. This is not a choice, but reality. DH is disabled so the chances of him getting a job that would see him getting off DSP are next to zero. I'm currently working but still getting partial payment of newstart. Even when I finish my studies in 4 years time and I get a full time job there will still be a reliance on benefits. So when exactly is it ok for me to have another child (if I'm able to due to my issues) by the standards outline here? I don't want a big family. I used to want 3 or 4. Now I would be happy if I could have one more. Over the years I have had so many people say I shouldn't be TTC until we're no long depending on welfare so according to them I should never have another child. Whether that "one more child" is a second or a 5th, why should people feel they have a say in it at all.
    You have your next child when the timing is right for you and dh. Alot of families rely on some sort of financial support from the government. Your doing the best you can right now for your family. You are also striving for the future you want for your family. Your a wonderful mother and I personally think it would be a shame for you not to add to your family if you can x more children deserve a parent like you very loving and doing whatever you despite your odds to provide this.

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  15. #38
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    My background- lower middle class family with 3 kids, fairly good childhood.

    Dh background- welfare reliant, spent 2 years at young age in a orphanage because neither parent wanted them (4 siblings), mum had twins while they were there.

    So I get it, I really do.


    I find it really sad when you see children who really live in true poverty. I have seen it. Kids that live in parks with parents who only care where they are get the next bottle of alcohol. I use to volunteer with this people when I was young, in fact that is how i met my hubby when he came to volunteer too.



    For us if we were to fall pregnant again, we would just make it work.

    We would never abort.


    That is where we stand.

  16. #39
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    Subbing.. Be back when I have the time to respond.

  17. #40
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    Big hugs to your DH . That's awful!


 

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