I had my DD when I was 17. I couldn't afford it. I did not know what the hell I was doing... But I sure soon figured it out. I knew I wouldn't get much from the government, but I did not realise what a huge struggle it would be.
OP your mum was an alcoholic. Most people who get assistance statistically speaking are not.
My daughter had everything she needed. Good food. Decent clothes. Music lessons.
I did not have what I needed. I had barely any clothes. No phone. I often went without decent food (eating toast and beans), to ensure she had what she needed.
This isn't a black or white issue.
some people shouldn't be having children. And it's got NOTHING to do with money. And nothing to do with government benefits.
I find myself unexpectedly a single parent again ( although slightly better off due to resources/ part time job etc). I thought I'd be married forever. I was married to high income earner, and yet I find myself in almost exactly the same situation again. No one IRL had ever ever insinuate to me, that I should not have had my DD. or that my choice to have my son was more "valid". I find it so ignorant.
There are societies out there who care for everyone. Every family, every child, every person receives "welfare". All families are supported by the government. I wish I lived in one of those countries. Because the judgement here from people who are narrow minded, brain washed, capitalist, and un empathic makes quite cranky really.
I haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say I am a high income earner (top 3-5%) and DH is on a good income. I would still consider this to be a relevant question for us - and one that will come up again in 1.5 years time if this bub is another boy!!
Affording a child doesn't only relate to income. It relates to the choices you make and the lifestyle you aspire to for yourself and your children in relation to whatever income you have, and that is what determines affordability.
We want to privately educate our children and the cost of this will determine if we can afford a third child without reducing the aspirational quality of life we seek for our existing children. Of course things may change for us in the future - for better or worse financially which will mean we have to adjust.
But, if you have no money at all and can't afford to adequately support the children you have (according to your personal standards given they are above the minimum standard of our society - such as providing food, shelter, education, medical care etc) then I believe you should not have anymore children.
I don't think Basing everything on finances alone is wise as we all know good parenting is so much more than just providing material things.... You only have to look at Gina Rinehart to see that having money doesn't equate to being a good parent and providing a good stable life.
Personally, even though financially I could probably have more children, emotionally I know I couldn't cope with any more than what I have. My two have just turned 3 and 4 and life has only recently gotten a whole lot easier.... I couldn't imagine adding a newborn into the mix and going back to those crazy sleep deprived days. Who am I to tell someone whether or not they can have more children. If they can provide a loving, stable home and desire a large family then I'd rather my taxes spent assisting them than politicians attending weddings or fancy dinners.
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