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  1. #1
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    Default ** Spin-off** Is it ok to have more children then you can provide for...

    Without relying on welfare...


    I am sure this will start debates but hopefully we can discuss it as adults and respect others points of view if not agree...

    Is it ok to have children if you cant afford it? And I mean really afford the basics??.

    Is it ok to have another child with the attitude that you have welfare to support you?
    Would said people have this many children if we did not have such a generous welfare system in Australia?
    I know people with large families and small families and in my experience those that can least afford to have large families do and those that could afford to have large families don't - why is this?
    What role does your childhood/upbringing play in this?

    My childhood I was raised by a very poor alcoholic mother who not only relied on welfare but assumed ( and still does) that it is her right to get it even though she has not held a job or paid tax for almost 40 years. All my clothes were from the secondhand store ( which is trendy now - it was NOT when I was a child) , we got donations from the Salvo's at Christmas and I was chosen out of all the kids in my school to go to a holiday camp for disadvantaged children. We were poor.
    My childhood heavily influenced what I wanted for my own children ( and more importantly what I did NOT want) when the time came.
    For the record we have three - we were planning 2 and finances were a huge part of that and the opportunities we wanted to give our two children. Our beautiful 3rd bubba came along by accident and I would change nothing but it has impacted significantly on our financial situation and I can't deny that. DH is looking at getting a higher paid job and I will be returning to a different job that pays more when I return to work so we can try and continue to provide the lifestyle we want for our children.

    So - opinions? And I apologise in advance to Mods if this gets out of control!!!
    Last edited by CleverClogs; 19-10-2013 at 11:34.

  2. #2
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    Im a firm believer that parent/s should provide as best as they can for their children whether they have 1 or 10 and that welfare should be there for those who cant work for reasons such as disability or illness NOT for those who have the "cant be bothered" attitude. Yes our Govt is generous and we are lucky but i do think that SOME ppl take advantage of this generosity and in the end , its the children that miss out.

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  4. #3
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    I think it's very disrespectful and irresponsible to have a large family if you know you can't afford it.

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  6. #4
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    I don't think it's ideal. I personally wouldn't have children and rely on the notion that the governements got my back.
    Unfortunately things happen though. Unplanned pregnancies and relationship breakdowns are all too common. A lot of people will find themselves in these situations and will need to rely on government support.

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    I dont think alot of smaller families can get by without assistance. Whats the difference really? 4 families with 3 kids each on welfare or 1 family with 12 kids on welfare? Might sound extreme but blended families come to mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    I was chosen out of all the kids in my school to go to a holiday camp for disadvantaged children.
    I lord, I had to go to one of those, and I HATED it. Hated it with a passion and cried for the two weeks I was there.

    It's tricky, I don't think that you should keep having baby after baby if you can't afford to. But I also don't think that anyone should be able to tell anyone else what to do with their own bodies.

    We had an unplanned twin pregnancy and a surprise number 4, so we were planning on two kids and got four. And it affect our finances significantly, especially as they are so close in age. So we moved interstate, away from friends and family to a place much cheaper to raise a family. If we had another unplanned pregnancy, I don't think financially we'd be able to keep it.

    I think a lot about finances and kids and the kind of life I want for my kids, I don't want our family to ever struggle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post

    I think a lot about finances and kids and the kind of life I want for my kids, I don't want our family to ever struggle.
    I'm exactly the same regarding my family. And I agree on the place for disadvantaged kids although it was lovely to have a break from my alcoholic mother for two weeks!

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I lord, I had to go to one of those, and I HATED it. Hated it with a passion and cried for the two weeks I was there.

    It's tricky, I don't think that you should keep having baby after baby if you can't afford to. But I also don't think that anyone should be able to tell anyone else what to do with their own bodies.

    We had an unplanned twin pregnancy and a surprise number 4, so we were planning on two kids and got four. And it affect our finances significantly, especially as they are so close in age. So we moved interstate, away from friends and family to a place much cheaper to raise a family. If we had another unplanned pregnancy, I don't think financially we'd be able to keep it.

    I think a lot about finances and kids and the kind of life I want for my kids, I don't want our family to ever struggle.
    OMG me too ( the camp) Myself and two friends were chosen but they split us up as soon as we go there, cried for two weeks, just really suffered at that camp, mum visited me in the weekend visit and I completely lost it crying screaming, they told mum to just drive off and leave me, devastated!!

    On the number of children we are only having two and finances have a part to play in this decision, I think it's responsible to think about finances but at the end of the day you'll make it work no matter how many children, but for us that's our decision.

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    My mum was a widower and needed a break, after dad died, so we went to camp because she needed a couple of weeks to get herself together. I can absolutely see why some kids would have positives to being at camps.

    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    I'm exactly the same regarding my family. And I agree on the place for disadvantaged kids although it was lovely to have a break from my alcoholic mother for two weeks!

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    At the moment we are that family relying on government support.

    Df had to stop working for health reasons (so I guess it's kinda ok by some standards?).

    Ds1 was a surprise baby. We were young but we made it work. I went back to work when he was about 15 months old as I was given an awesome opportunity. Ds2 was planned. We've gotten by quiet well, until now.

    I don't think we've had more children than we should (financially) as we provide for them ourselves normally, with a bit of FTB. It sucks big time having to rely on centrelink. I hate it. I'm extremely grateful, don't get me wrong, but it's not how I would choose to raise my family.

    This isn't permanent. Df is job hunting and should be back in paid employment soon.

    So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you actually want to raise your children in even a modest lifestyle you shouldn't rely on centrelink. I understand that sometimes life happens but you should also be responsible to make sure that you don't over stretch yourself.

    Be grateful for the assistance that is available, but not dependent on it.

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