+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default No family near me for my childbirth

    Hi,

    I am migrant expecting my first baby in Brisbane. Both me and my partner are from overseas and we have no relatives here, not close friends also where we are. I am excited about my baby and I was hoping my mum could come to my childbirth but unfortunately due to having diabetes and dealing with a long flight in her condition she won't come. I just found out today and I feel really sad. I want to cry, dealing the first months by ourselves with no guidance and emotional support :'(

    My husband's parents will come but a few months later, they cant come at the due date. I don't know what to do, this is such an important moment in our lives and this news got us pretty upset. Can anybody tell me if it has been on the same boat and how you dealt with it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    South East QLD
    Posts
    4,034
    Thanks
    3,349
    Thanked
    1,623
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Big hugs. I haven't been in this situation but I can imagine it wouldn't be easy.

    Hopefully someone else on here can offer some useful advice.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    6,032
    Thanks
    5,468
    Thanked
    4,405
    Reviews
    20
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I haven't been in that position but if you get in touch with your community health nurse they should be able to point you in the direction of local mums groups. You could also meet people through antenatal classes (usually ran at your hospital) or do something like pregnancy yoga to meet other mums. The due in groups on here are also great for a support network.

    For the birth process, you could find a student midwife or doula for extra support.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi! I have been in that position with both births. It never worried me. At my 2nd labour I had a friend rather than a partner which really didn't phase me either. I think if it did though I would definitely have looked at getting a student doula. After you have baby make sure you get linked to a mothers group. This can help with isolation and make sure you get the phone numbers for services that you can call to answer any questions you may have.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I was the same with my first.

    exh was from the UK and my family were in another state in Australia and my sister was pregnant at the same time so they wanted to stay nearby to her.

    Honestly, it was fine. We did lots of reading and I made some friends during my pre natal classes and it went smoothly.

    I know it might feel a little overwhelming right now, but, use it as a time to bring you and your DH together and you will be fine.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hi - same boat here too although we have lived here for years so do have friends.

    I wouldn't want anyone at my birth apart from DH and would have hated having anyone to stay in this first few weeks. My mum came out and about 6 weeks which was perfect.

    Do you have friends as a support network here? Otherwise join your DIG on here - I have made great friends from mine!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    319
    Thanks
    62
    Thanked
    123
    Reviews
    1
    I'm sure you will do fine. I was in this situation myself. I actually found it was in my favour. MIL wanted to stay for 5 weeks afterwards and I actually put my foot down about it when I thought about it. Yes having some help could have been nice, but I wanted the bonding time alone with MY baby and my hubby. Not having to constantly worry about entertaining another person (other than bubby) was great, and I could take naps and run to our own schedule and not have to worry about breastfeeding or even getting out of my pajamas after a bad night.. Yes, I didnt exactly have someone who could just take bub for me for 5 minutes while I made a cup of tea during the day, but I really didnt need it. Your hubby will be there for you, and you can give bub to him when you need a break - its his baby too.
    Join in a mums group, even if you have an online mums group, they are fantastic for the extra support (there are plenty of due in groups on here you could join). Find out what activities are around for mums and bubs. I used to take DS to the local library for nursery rhyme and reading activities right from when he was a little bub. When he got a bit bigger we started doing mum and bub exercise classes.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,493
    Thanks
    4,294
    Thanked
    1,806
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Hi gloqui

    I have to agree with everyone else, it will be easier than you think.
    I had my first son in a tiny town, no friends, no relatives, (all overseas too) and honestly, those few weeks at the beginning, all you want to do is sleep when baby sleeps.

    For me, if I had had company then I wouldn't have felt so comfortable with sleeping as much as I needed.

    My MIL came over then when DS1 was 4 weeks old and by then we had a bit of a routine going to the point where I could leave him with instructions for an hour or so.

    On DS2 though, different story altogether.
    We had moved umpteen times since DS1 was born so we found ourselves in the same situation again, no friends or family close by.
    So I needed MIL from the week I was due to watch DS1 when whenever went in.

    She stayed for 8 weeks in total and I really don't know how I would have coped with 2 children on my own all day long. DS2 was a particularly needy baby, and still is.


    You'll be fine.
    Do what others have suggested join some groups and there's fantastic help here.
    I had a wonderful nurse that I would see in the local clinic and even in the lead up to the birth I had home visits for ante-natal care because I was living in the Hunter Valley.
    That was invaluable, I would never had got such good care where I'm from and I was so thankful of it.

    When are you due?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    888
    Thanks
    234
    Thanked
    168
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We have done it alone with twins. My in laws just visited for the first time when the twins were nearly 4 months old. Its absolutely fine as long as your partner is supportive and gives you a break when you need. I agree with some others, having the time alone at first is better to work things out for your family without anyone else there. I've also been surprised at who has offered to help, people we don't even know well. So you might have people around who notice and make the offer, even if you wouldn't have thought it.

    Sent from my GT-S5830T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3,245
    Thanks
    2,512
    Thanked
    1,250
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    We both came over from the uk and we don't have any family here (except my dad but no mother etc) we did it by ourselves and I actually am very glad this was the case. We are muddling through, dd is now 6 weeks and we've managed so far!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Doula course through Childbirth International
    By kayley88 in forum Hubbers who are studying
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-10-2013, 11:17
  2. Pain after childbirth (maybe TMI)
    By harvs in forum General Health
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-07-2013, 13:45
  3. Women's experiences of sex after childbirth
    By MidwifeResearcher in forum Research Help
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 24-03-2013, 17:34

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!