Mini b- my heart broke reading that. You are allowed to cry and feel what you feel. It's part of healing. Each day or week the pain will ease slightly. It doesn't feel like it will ever get better now and I didn't believe the counsellor who told me that in July after losing Gabriel but you find the strength within to keep going. I found it comforting to talk to ppl who have been through it too and we are here for you whenever you want to talk or even PM me. I found the Pregnancy Loss Australia website very comforting. Making a memorial of some sort for your angel helps find some closure too. I had necklaces made up engraved with his name and his sweet little footprints that I wear all the time and for my first baby girl we planted a tree to honor her memory.
I know you little bub is in heaven looking down and maybe having a play with my two dear ones up there too. Stay strong and big hugs