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  1. #21
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    Hi everyone

    I'm 30 and DP is 43. We are from Adelaide. We used at home insemination with a known donor and were very lucky to get a BFP on the second try. I am carrying and will be 8 weeks Friday. Have been together 8 years and very excited on this next chapter.

    Don't have any same sex couple friends so this has been a great support to talk to others in the same situation

  2. #22
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    Congrats Sartan, must be really excited

  3. #23
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    Hi All,

    We are Lindyhop (27) and DP (26) preparing to start the TTC adventure! We are with QFG on the Gold Coast (Dr Swift). Pending counselling, our first cycle of IUI will be in Nov 2013 Can't wait!

    Good luck to everyone!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Lindyhop For This Useful Post:

    twomummas  (16-10-2013)

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lindyhop View Post
    Hi All,

    We are Lindyhop (27) and DP (26) preparing to start the TTC adventure! We are with QFG on the Gold Coast (Dr Swift). Pending counselling, our first cycle of IUI will be in Nov 2013 Can't wait!

    Good luck to everyone!
    The counselling session we went through at QFG was great. We were actually quite nervous about it but it actually helped a lot with telling our bubba how s/he was made, why they have two mums instead if a mum and a dad, when to tell them certain things and wording we should make sure our families and ourselves use when talking about bubs donor.

    We thought it was going to be some kind of test and if we were unfit they'd dash our dreams - but they honestly just wanted to help.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Things View Post
    The counselling session we went through at QFG was great. We were actually quite nervous about it but it actually helped a lot with telling our bubba how s/he was made, why they have two mums instead if a mum and a dad, when to tell them certain things and wording we should make sure our families and ourselves use when talking about bubs donor.

    We thought it was going to be some kind of test and if we were unfit they'd dash our dreams - but they honestly just wanted to help.
    That's reassuring Best Things It's next Wednesday!

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Things View Post
    The counselling session we went through at QFG was great. We were actually quite nervous about it but it actually helped a lot with telling our bubba how s/he was made, why they have two mums instead if a mum and a dad, when to tell them certain things and wording we should make sure our families and ourselves use when talking about bubs donor.

    We thought it was going to be some kind of test and if we were unfit they'd dash our dreams - but they honestly just wanted to help.
    Best things was just interested in what types of things they said. Doing at home insemination we didn't do this. We have obviously talked about how we would do it but just wondering what the advise was especially for other family members and referring to donor?

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sartan View Post
    Best things was just interested in what types of things they said. Doing at home insemination we didn't do this. We have obviously talked about how we would do it but just wondering what the advise was especially for other family members and referring to donor?
    Okie Sartan!

    Let me just start this off by warning that it will be a long post; I've actually removed my rear from the television, bubhub iPhone app and couch combo I was just performing to walk to my computer to reply!

    Disclaimer: The following information is regurgitated to the best of my knowledge. I take no responsibility for the information and do not claim the advice as my own. But I do believe it to be very good advice and I felt so much more comfortable about the whole experience after hearing it.

    The session started with him asking about things like breastfeeding, last names, if we're sharing our IVF journey with family and friends, etc. He did give us the advice that if Tummy Mummy (TM) was breast feeding that Mumma (M) spends time bathing bub or going for a walk with bub or just cuddling with skin to skin contact to form a bond. He also advised us that he was against hyphenated last names and we should chose just one (which we were going to do anyway). I think that piece of advice was just his personal opinion and please don't flame me if you're going to hyphenate.

    He then told us that before bub is born we should talk to all our family members who will be involved in baby's life about the words we use around them. He said to NEVER refer to the donor as 'dad', 'father', 'donor daddy' or anything like that. The donor is a genetic donor only. He said to also remind people who'll be in bub's life to not say things like "Wow, [Childs name] you are very fit, you must have got those strong legs from your dad/ donor/ etc".

    To introduce our child to the idea of how they came to be, he told us to do it in stages as that are developmentally appropriate. Say your 3 year old wants to know why they have two mummies... you just tell them that they have two parents who love them and that's all that matters. If they get more curious and want to know not WHY they have two mothers, but HOW two mothers can make a child you say that they were very wanted so you went and got a doctors help to make you. He said that will suffice for a 3-7+ year old and they will usually be satisfied with that answer. He said not to tell them more at younger ages as at 6 years old is when they develop 'privacy' and they may feel uncomfortable if they had told other people things that they might now want to keep to themselves. When your child starts getting older you can tell them more and more about how they came to be. When the child ages and you start teaching them about sex and how babies are MADE you tell them that you went to a doctor and read about a nice man who had what you needed to make a baby so he helped you with his genes. You can also decide if you're going to tell them about WHO the donor is.

    He warned us that one day our baby will be a teenager. He pretended to mimic our future teenager and his exact words were "yeah well you're just two lesbo *****es" and told us not to fret or get hurt because ALL teenages say nasty things and they'll find something to say. That two women can raise a perfect child and give them everything that any other parent can, regardless of what homophobes and bigots say.

    That's all I can remember for now but I promise to give more details if I recall them. Please don't be afraid to ask me any questions on any of this - I'm not expert but we're all in the same situation and I will do anything to help.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Best Things For This Useful Post:

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  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lindyhop View Post
    Hi All,

    We are Lindyhop (27) and DP (26) preparing to start the TTC adventure! We are with QFG on the Gold Coast (Dr Swift). Pending counselling, our first cycle of IUI will be in Nov 2013 Can't wait!

    Good luck to everyone!
    Our counseling session with QFG was very similar to the above posts.
    My DP and I were both nervous as well thinking it was a test lol we had even covered a few things to make sure we were on the same page.
    When we went in we were surprised because we didn't actually get asked a lot. From memory we were asked why I was the one carrying, did we have supportive families, how long we'd been together, how long we'd be trying or thinking about having a baby and not a lot else.
    He did most of the talking going over all the stuff mentioned above.
    So don't stress. It's pretty easy plus we were told they've never ever rejected anyone based on that session. Lol


    TwoMummas - Beginning our journey to becoming Mums through IUI.

    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app.

  11. #29
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    I can vouch for the above. We were very nervous about the counselling session at QFG Brisbane. The fella covered all of the above. And made us feel very comfortable.gave us lots to think about, and tools to handle future issues etc. it was a beneficial process.

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Things View Post
    Okie Sartan!

    Let me just start this off by warning that it will be a long post; I've actually removed my rear from the television, bubhub iPhone app and couch combo I was just performing to walk to my computer to reply!

    Disclaimer: The following information is regurgitated to the best of my knowledge. I take no responsibility for the information and do not claim the advice as my own. But I do believe it to be very good advice and I felt so much more comfortable about the whole experience after hearing it.

    The session started with him asking about things like breastfeeding, last names, if we're sharing our IVF journey with family and friends, etc. He did give us the advice that if Tummy Mummy (TM) was breast feeding that Mumma (M) spends time bathing bub or going for a walk with bub or just cuddling with skin to skin contact to form a bond. He also advised us that he was against hyphenated last names and we should chose just one (which we were going to do anyway). I think that piece of advice was just his personal opinion and please don't flame me if you're going to hyphenate.

    He then told us that before bub is born we should talk to all our family members who will be involved in baby's life about the words we use around them. He said to NEVER refer to the donor as 'dad', 'father', 'donor daddy' or anything like that. The donor is a genetic donor only. He said to also remind people who'll be in bub's life to not say things like "Wow, [Childs name] you are very fit, you must have got those strong legs from your dad/ donor/ etc".

    To introduce our child to the idea of how they came to be, he told us to do it in stages as that are developmentally appropriate. Say your 3 year old wants to know why they have two mummies... you just tell them that they have two parents who love them and that's all that matters. If they get more curious and want to know not WHY they have two mothers, but HOW two mothers can make a child you say that they were very wanted so you went and got a doctors help to make you. He said that will suffice for a 3-7+ year old and they will usually be satisfied with that answer. He said not to tell them more at younger ages as at 6 years old is when they develop 'privacy' and they may feel uncomfortable if they had told other people things that they might now want to keep to themselves. When your child starts getting older you can tell them more and more about how they came to be. When the child ages and you start teaching them about sex and how babies are MADE you tell them that you went to a doctor and read about a nice man who had what you needed to make a baby so he helped you with his genes. You can also decide if you're going to tell them about WHO the donor is.

    He warned us that one day our baby will be a teenager. He pretended to mimic our future teenager and his exact words were "yeah well you're just two lesbo *****es" and told us not to fret or get hurt because ALL teenages say nasty things and they'll find something to say. That two women can raise a perfect child and give them everything that any other parent can, regardless of what homophobes and bigots say.

    That's all I can remember for now but I promise to give more details if I recall them. Please don't be afraid to ask me any questions on any of this - I'm not expert but we're all in the same situation and I will do anything to help.
    Thank you so much best things. That was very helpful. A few things to think about especially about talking to family. Thanks again for sharing the info with me


 

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