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  1. #1
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    Default Ds is struggling!

    So dd was is 3 weeks old and ds seems to be struggling a bit. DH went back to work and he is a fifo worker so back to work means just me, ds and dd at home.

    During the day he does ok, he just gets a little frustrated but I make sure I put dd down and spend plenty of one on one time with him. Once it's night time it's a whole other story. He likes to have his hand held to go to sleep, this is a real struggle with dd though sometimes. I try to wait for her to go to sleep but her "witching hour" is his bed time. So that special time for him is now shared. He will then once I'm alseep during the night come into our room to find me but not wake me up. I know tis because a few times I have been feeding dd. so because he doesn't wake me up, something he would always do before dd he does either of the following,

    -sleeps somewhere random ie dogs bed, floor, couch
    -cries somewhere random.

    I wake up to the crying and obviously go to console him and put him back in his bed, he goes straight to sleep. But when he doesn't wake me up and just sleeps somewhere random I have no idea how long he has been awake etc.

    I know a part if the problem will be that dd is a cosleeper (no judgement please) and ds was a cosleeper until he moved into his own bed. He moved because he wanted to at the time. He from that point 6 months ago slept in his bed from 8am - 8pm without a problem.

    I don't know what to do! He can't keep sleeping in random places or just crying.
    This happens 4-5 times a night so between him and dd I'm getting 2-3 hrs sleep a night and I'm exhausted! Please help me!


    *edited because dd hit send early.


    Me + DH = DS and DD

  2. #2
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    I've been in your position! What I did, (and still do!) is stick dd2 on my boob whilst I sit on the floor beside dd1s bed and sing her bedtime songs and pat her bum/ rub her tummy, whichever she prefers. But you could easily just hold his hand. I literally just stick her on my boob and ignore her, give all my focus and attention to dd1.

    I also will lie in my bed, with dd1 on one side, snuggled against me, and dd2 on the other feeding.

    In my experience, I just do what I have to do to get them both asleep. Dd2 doesn't care if I'm not interacting with her, she's happy with boob at bed time, dd1 however, she needs that time and routine to get her calm relaxed and asleep.

    Also, when dh is home, both dds get more attention and are less needy, and dd1 will fall asleep easier in her own bed and stay there all night.

    Talk to your ds, tell him it's ok to wake you if he wakes up in the night, he might have the impression that he's not allowed to wake you incase he disturbs the baby. Say something like "mummies really proud of you when you sleep all through the night in your very own big boy bed, but if something wakes you up, it's ok to come and tell mummy. Mummy will help you."

    Finally, it gets easier, dd2 is now 17 months, and it's easier now, but I stick to the routine because it works for us.

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (15-10-2013)

  4. #3
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    I'm going to bump your thread up for you op, someone else may have some advice..

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    mummtime101  (14-10-2013)

  6. #4
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    Hi sorry I don't have any advice. Just wanted to send hugs & let you know my 3yo still co sleeps & wanders the house all hours of the night. I've found her asleep in the most random places. Hopefully someone will have some advice for you x

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    I am not sure if you want to but maybe tell him it's ok to get into bed with mummy and sister.
    I never had problems with any of mine adjusting so I am not sure what else to offer.

    Sent from my LT15i using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Thanks for all your help everyone! There really isn't enough room for me to feel like its safe to co sleep with both. I guess I will just have to survive on the tiny amount of sleep until he gets back into routine....


    Me + DH = DS and DD

  9. #7
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    That happens with us too. I'd suggest a big camp style on the floor (mattresses shoved together) so you can all co sleep safely.

    Sent from my HTC One SV using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Just an idea but you said there isn't room in the bed for all three is it possible to put a mattress on the floor in your room? Stick to your normal routine at night but explain to him that if he does wake up mummu has set up a special bed in her room for him to sleep. My ds when though the same thing when ds2 was born he both co slept ds2 is now 16 months and still in my bed it's hard coz it's early days and he is still adjusting but even changing the night time routine a tiny bit may help also like while your feeding bub you could be cuddling on the couch reading a story to your son. Good luck

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    When I had my second, his witching hour was the same time as yours. My husband was also working afternoons/evenings so I was the only one home. I used to put DS in a swing while getting DD to bed, as I felt like that was the only one on one time I had with her in the first few weeks.


 

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