Dont think your fears are irrational..I would say predictable and understandable...for people that go through so many difficulties to get where you are, surrounded by others going through a similar journey. I can gather the majority of cycles do not end in bfp so you would lean the other way. I can also understand being detatched...me at 40...cannot imagine myself being a mother...some kind of pessimism as well that is a bit of self preservation. Its something that happens to other women..not me. I understand.
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