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  1. #1
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    Default The same bl**dy argument every weekend

    Im so annoyed. DH and i have the same bloody argument every weekend.

    I want to get out of the house and do something...even if its just go to the park/shops with the kids and DH wants to stay home and do nothing. He says it seems im incapable of doing anything on my own on the weekends. Man, im alone ALL week, i get lonely. I miss him.

    The kids annoy him yet he still wont come out. I miss him during the week and want to spend time as a family but he doesnt. He wants to sit at home in front of the computer or tv.
    I asked him why and he says 'the kids, thats why'. I said, 'what, our life is our kids'. He said 'yead, and you expect me to be happy about that'

    WHAT???

    I dont get it. Do your DH/DPs wana be with the family on the weekends??

  2. #2
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    I'd be pretty ****ed off if df said that about our kids. Because yeah I do expect him to be happy about the children we've decided to have and raise together.

    On the weekends we go out as a family as much as possible. We both get pretty restless just being at home and the whole time.

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  4. #3
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    Dh and I work shifts so often our days off don't coincide. But when they do we spend it together. Morning out and afternoon home lounging around.

    Your Dh's attitude is unfair OP.

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    My dh is the same, op. in fact it's worse because he's away for work 2 weeks at a time, home for 1. Yesterday he actually sat at the kitchen table with his hands over his ears while dd2 was crying, (yes he ACTUALLY did do that! Real mature and grown up hey?!)

    I can't handle being in the house like that, the kids get bored and destructive but if I don't stay home, I don't see dh.

    I just got home from swimming with them, dh refused to come, wouldn't even get out of bed.

    I think my dh is worse than yours as he won't even sit at the table and have meals with us now. In fact, I think my marriage is on the skids.

  6. #5
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    Same in our house lol he even turned around last night and said beimg a stay at home dad would be a breeze..haaaa he gets cabin fever on long weekends

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    My dh is one to do all sorts of 'other' things - we only go out together if we have a pressing social engagement!! I can see two sides to your argument OP (although what he said about the kids is unfair and you can perhaps ask him in a moment of calm if he really meant that - I'm sure he didn't!)

    If he works a job he dislikes, he will be unmotivated, so on the weekends he'll see it as his time to just chill out and do things he likes. Things that don't require energy. Unfortunately getting out of the house isn't on his list - it probably feels like too much effort.

    And as much as he possibly wants to work at a different job - he likely feels like the risk is too great with a family to support. Perhaps you can talk to him and find out what he is feeling - even if this is not it.

    I find when my H is annoyed at something else, then EVERYTHING becomes annoying, including home.

    My dh does try to take the kids with him when he's out chopping wood or milking cows or going to the store after I complained that he was NEVER home. But when he's home all he wants to do is lay on the floor and watch TV with the kids so you can imagine me pulling my hair out with all the jobs that he needs to get done around here each weekend

    I guess my point is that there's little point in letting this fester. Talk. I'm sure he wants to rpovide for you all but is feeling a little boxed in. Maybe you do need to take the kids out and give him some quiet time for a while - go out and have fun while giving him what he needs, that's all part of a relationship too... It won't be forever.

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    I'm ask sorry to hear OP.
    Usually on Saturdays Dh will do 'handyman'/'garden' work and maybe during that time Ds1 will take a trip to Bunnings with him or hang outside with him.
    On a Sunday we either go out as a family or lounge around the house and maybe all go down to the park.
    When Dh gets home from work he likes to play on the lounge floor with the kids for 10-15min then bath them while I clean up.
    Perhaps he is depressed? It can be quite common.

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    I think adults should spend quality time with their kids, but they also need 'me' or 'adult' time too. Hubby and I try to find a balance. Eg on the weekends we will go out for a coffee/babycino, a play in the park and then it's time for DS's afternoon nap. During the nap we can have veg out adult time if we want (sometimes even a shag). In the afternoon it might be a few errands (take DS along, he loves a trolley ride) followed by another coffee/play in the free indoor play centre next to the shops. More veg time come 7pm when DS is in bed. Sometimes I will take an afternoon to go shopping or hubby will take an afternoon to do something while the other will look after DS. It's usually a fair balance.

    Back to your original question though my DH is always trying to play activities for DS (eg researching a new playground, planning a day trip so DS can do something). But we always mix the adult time in with it (lunch/coffee/ etc).

    As pp said perhaps your DH is depressed?

    Good luck...

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think adults should spend quality time with their kids, but they also need 'me' or 'adult' time too. Hubby and I try to find a balance. Eg on the weekends we will go out for a coffee/babycino, a play in the park and then it's time for DS's afternoon nap. During the nap we can have veg out adult time if we want (sometimes even a shag). In the afternoon it might be a few errands (take DS along, he loves a trolley ride) followed by another coffee/play in the free indoor play centre next to the shops. More veg time come 7pm when DS is in bed. Sometimes I will take an afternoon to go shopping or hubby will take an afternoon to do something while the other will look after DS. It's usually a fair balance.

    Back to your original question though my DH is always trying to play activities for DS (eg researching a new playground, planning a day trip so DS can do something). But we always mix the adult time in with it (lunch/coffee/ etc).

    As pp said perhaps your DH is depressed?

    Good luck...
    Great response here this is how we do it (excpet we get a bit more time as my DF fifos so we get a block of 7 days together). We both take the time to recharge as we both find our kiddies can be a bit draining we do that together at night when the kids are in bed and we also get a little break 1 or 2 of those days when DS1 & 2 are in school and we just have DD at home. We also recharge seperately, DF has his activities and I have mine. But we also make family time quality time.

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    I live for the weekends as it is family time.

    DH is away this weekend and I am missing him greatly...it is a fabulous reminder for me of just how much he does with us. He often takes the kids out to the park so I can get my study done....but every weekend we make sure we do something with the 4 of us...even if it is a backyard picnic or a board game.

    I would find a quiet time to sit and talk with your DH, i would not find that OK in the slightest...what is the point of being a family if he hates spending time with you and the kids? ANd the kids will know that daddy hates spending time with them...that sort of rejection is hurtful!


 

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