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  1. #1
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    Default frequent waking unless co-sleeping

    Hi,
    As the title suggests, my 9 mo lo wakes frequently when in the cot. Day and night. He is breastfed to sleep and will wake after usually 20-30mins although sometimes 5mins, 10 mins, aand sometimes 40mins. Once he comes to bed with me he sleeps well (3-4 hours before waking for a feed. What is challenging for me is not knowing how long he'll sleep for during the day (hard to relax) and hard to plan what to do during his nap, eg will I have enough time to have a shower?
    When he wakes I resettle by rocking in my arms and patting a sushing. I've tried not picking him up and patting sushing but he gets very upset very quickly, which is why I pick him up. He'll usually resettle for another short nap. But it takes 10 mins or so to resettle. I feel like I spend most of his naps resettling him.
    I've been told by numerous people that the problem is breastfeeding to sleep. But it's so natural and effective! I guess I'm looking for tips and stories of others who've had similar issues and how you have improved your babies sleep habits?
    Will he grow out of these cat naps and start napping more consistently? Or do I have to stop breastfeeding him to sleep? Is this the only way? I do not want to let him cry it out either. Suggestions? Thoughts?

  2. #2
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    A really good book I think for you is by Elizabeth Pantley, the No Cry Sleep Solution. Has really good tips especially in your situation. Good luck

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  4. #3
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    He will grow out of it, mine did. I think you need to ask yourself how you would like him to go to sleep, are you happy feeding him to sleep? Are you wanting to change things because of society's expectations or because you actually want him to go to sleep a different way? Either way you will find help on bubhub. I'm happy to help with how to manage things while still feeding to sleep, if thats what you want

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  6. #4
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    Mine fed to sleep with a bottle and it took him til about that age to have proper naps. There is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep . Mine is now 17 months and will go to sleep without feeding .

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  8. #5
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    I think that resettling for 10 minutes is pretty good. My DD1 could never be resettled at.all.ever. But DD2 certainly could be, usually 10-15 minutes later with rocking / swinging / shushing, or pretty much ASAP with another feed.

    Both my girls were fed to sleep - well into my DD1s 3 year of life.

    Do you want the honest truth from my experience? Does feeding to sleep affect their sleep - in my case yes it did. The night I finally weaned my DD1 from her bedtime sleep - she didn't wake up howling 1 hour later calling for me (which she had been doing for months prior). It did improve.

    Would I change feeding to sleep? Nope. A) I didn't have the energy to do it and b) I don't support the alternative which was crying to sleep. I did have a time where I would use a dummy to sleep my DD2, but I took her off that.

    A nice balance would be to be able to gently settle your little ones after and separately to the feed prior to a sleep. Elizabeth Pantley does have some good ideas, as does Pinky McKay.

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  10. #6
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    Really, he isn't catnapping - he's waking up fully when he comes to a surface sleep because the conditions are different to how he fell asleep. He fell asleep all warm and snugly against you, with his favourite thing in the whole world - breast milk on tap - and suddenly found himself alone in a cot. Babies don't know they've been asleep & time has elapsed - they just come out of a sleep cycle and wahhhh because they don't know what has happened. It's the equivalent to you falling asleep in your bed and waking up on the kitchen floor.

    If you are happy to continue resettling him then keep doing what you are doing but if you want him to have longer naps in the cot you will need to teach him to self settle. The No Cry Sleep Solution book has methods to teach self settling which take longer than a bit or crying but would be well suited to your parenting style.

    I have heard the catnapping improves when they go to one sleep at 12-15 months so hopefully that works for you too.

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  12. #7
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    Agree 9mth old is such an in between age for day sleeps.

    Do whatever make you happy! Eff society & "what we should do"

    I was a hard core no co sleeper for a couple years but once I worked out we all sleep better I just embraced it.

    Both boys have their own rooms & the go down in the own beds but if they wake mummy is there right away & will stay until the next morning if they want or they come into our bed.

    I found this "open door" approach has given both boys that sense of security knowing if they do wake & want me, they have me.

    Having said that my 6yr old is getting rather self sufficient, I found him this morning covered in a blanket that was stored in the cupboard. Obviously got cold, got it out & went back to sleep.

    Each family is different. Do what u want!!! Best of luck

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  14. #8
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    We do this for day sleeps too

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    Sometimes feeding baby to sleep lying down on your bed, or a mattress on the floor, and then sneaking out helps them to sleep longer because you don't have to move them once they are asleep.

    You can also lie next to them and resettle if they wake.

    Over time, they will get used to sleeping longer by themself without you doing anything. But if you want to make changes, there are things you can do too.

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  17. #10
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    Thanks heaoverfeet, I am happy feeding him to sleep but I find the short and light naps stressful I guess. I feel like I have to rush around madly getting things done. Sometimes I go to make a coffee and don't even get to drink it lol. I don't like to complain but I guess I need to vent occasionally. 10 mins is not bad resettling, I agree, but when it's onlt for another 5 or 10 mins nap its frustrating. I have actually bought the no cry sleep solution so I will try and implement that.
    Stil keen to hear others experinces in similar situations


 

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