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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Advice needed

    I don't really know where to start. DH has been grumpy and unreasonable of late. I know he is stressed about the business and money.

    Things have been fairly strained the last few weeks. One minute he is happy, the next he is angry. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells a lot lately.

    Anyway, he's just told me he thinks our issues (my issues apparently) may be beyond fixable. In his perspective I am being cold and distant when in fact I'm just trying to avoid setting him off.

    It is not a nice environment but for the most part the boys (4 & nearly 2) have been shielded from it.

    I don't believe our marriage is over - it is not beyond repair but I don't know if DH is on board with this.

    I love him & our family and would hate for our family unit to be broken.

    I need to be practical though. If worst comes to worst I would be in a bit of a pickle.

    My family is all interstate. I have friends here but none suitable to stay with. I wouldnt afford the rent on my own so would need to move, however, 2 of DHs grown children live with us also. TBH I suspect DSD (age 18) may prefer to stick with me.

    I just don't know what to do.

    I hope this can be resolved. I'm just so sad.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sounds like maybe some couples counseling might help, if you can get him to agree to it. I think you both should investigate all issues before you say your done and it can't be fixed. He owes that to you and his children at the very least. I hope you can work through it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Relationships Australia are fantastic. Even if he doesn't agree to go with you, if you go on your own you might learn techniques to help the situation at home with him.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to SpecialK For This Useful Post:

    CleverClogs  (07-10-2013)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    I honestly think your DH is depressed.

    These are the early signs my DH showed when he was/is depressed. He thought he didn't love me and that I didn't show enough love or consideration towards him. He considered a separation. He also couldn't sleep at night. His business was very stressful and he was worried. Our daughter was 1yo.

    You could ask him whether he is depressed, but be prepared for an argument and denial. My DH was in denial for quite a while before he had a breakdown.

    We've worked through it (and it has been hard). I now know my DH's early signs (as does he) and we have a plan in place to stop it from getting too bad.

    Perhaps until he accepts the situation and gets the help he needs, you could ask him more questions about himself and how he feels (ie how did you sleep, how are you feeling). Go out of your way to do things for him (ie get him a drink, cook him things he likes). He will see and feel it. I know this may all sound over the top and catering to him as if he is a child and it is extra work for you, but if it brings him some peace and happiness, it will benefit your whole family.

    I hope you don't end up in the dark place we did. My best wishes and best luck to you both.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Life is Good For This Useful Post:

    Gothel  (08-10-2013)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Can you have a child free weekend or night together? Just time to chat away from the pressures of everyday life?

    If not I agree with what all the other pp have mentioned.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app


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