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  1. #21
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    Long term guests or family I shouldn't have to wait on. My house is there house and they can make their own coffee etc but thats true for anytime. I want them to feel at ease if they are staying a week.
    As for not asking to hold the baby well I dont offer my baby for cuddles unless people ask as he is a severe reflux bub so im never sure if people will actually want to hold my chucky bub thay quite often smells of sour milk becuase no matter often I change him he spews all the time.
    My mum helped with all the washing ( and with a reflux bub there is ridiculous amounts) but I wiuld only really feel comfortable with my mum doing that.
    Aa for food I think its great if someone is coming over for coffee and brings a pack of biscuits or something in the early days only because then I wont feel bad if I haven't gotten to the shoo and dont have anything iny cupboard to offer them.
    Kids,my friends stayed with me for a week from interstate and offered to leave their kids at home and I told them to bring them. My daughter was easier than ever when she had someone else to play with and I didn't feel guilty for neglecting to play with her.
    Pets- I dont think you should ever take pets to someones unless you know that they are pet people and ok with that. I dont want your dog upsetting my temperamental cat or shedding hair everywhere.
    that's all I can remember from the article. Oh and on holding the baby, happy for people to have a cuddle but if baby is upset give them back to me dont try to settle them, he needs his mama and is most likely hungry/tired/wet and boucing him around in your arms is not going to help. Also in thr case of my MIL once you are holding my baby - GIVE HIM BACK. Dont sit on your *** and expect to cuddle him constantly for hours when he is 24hrs old. He is my baby and I want to cuddle him more than anyone else on the planet and have waited for those snuggles for so long.


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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    I didn't get through all of it before I stopped. 'Remember you are not there for the baby, you are there to help the family'.... What the .....???!

    I think that list is incredibly rude... Basically, don't come over unless you plan on doing my housework, cooking my meals & not actually holding the baby at all.

    I personally would feel really uncomfortable if my visitors came over & started doing all my housework. Yes, it would be lovely for them to offer, but I would never say yes. Unless maybe it was folding washing - cause I hate it (lol).

    I don't know, maybe because I never struggled in those first few weeks, I feel differently about it. I had already prepared lots of meals & had them frozen as a 'just in case' thing.
    See I think if you are coming for a visit (coffee and cuddle type thing) then you have come to see the baby. If you a close friend/family that has come to stay for a week then you are there to help as well and create another person that neesa to be cooked for/cleaned for and entertained.

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  4. #23
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    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
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    pretty sure one of the main reasons people come to see you after you have a baby is to sneak in a newbie cuddle! I would feel weird saying 'hey thanks for coming by but no you wont be coming near my baby' But all the people who visit me after I have babies I like.........

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    Oh and on holding the baby, happy for people to have a cuddle but if baby is upset give them back to me dont try to settle them, he needs his mama and is most likely hungry/tired/wet and boucing him around in your arms is not going to help. Also in thr case of my MIL once you are holding my baby - GIVE HIM BACK. Dont sit on your *** and expect to cuddle him constantly for hours when he is 24hrs old. He is my baby and I want to cuddle him more than anyone else on the planet and have waited for those snuggles for so long.
    Oh man this is SO true. My MIL was the worst for telling me what was wrong with her, "she's got wind" - no she doesn't, she wants her mum!!

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  7. #25
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    Reading everyones stories makes me think how blessed I was/am. After both girls were born my family and friends visited the hospy with food and trashy mags to read during those night feeds. Mil stayed for a week each time and kept the house spotless and baked to fill my pantry up. She even did all my ironing and vacuuming.

    My mum came over every night once home during witching hour to give me a break those first few weeks.

    Friends popped in with take out I couldn't get but wanted. And would hold my bub so I could have a great long hot shower.


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  8. #26
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    I had a Nicu baby and we had barely any visitors for a month (not out of choice, I think they felt awkward??)
    I would have loved support over that time. No one (apart from immediate family) came to the hospital.
    We did have meals dropped by our church, but not many stayed
    I was do lonely and still don't understand why.
    And I would hate someone to arrange cleaning for me or come in and clean! Sure, ask to do a load of laundry and help yourself to a cuppa, but don't arrange stuff!!!
    The list is a little strange!!!

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by adden View Post
    I had a Nicu baby and we had barely any visitors for a month (not out of choice, I think they felt awkward??)
    I would have loved support over that time. No one (apart from immediate family) came to the hospital.
    We did have meals dropped by our church, but not many stayed
    I was do lonely and still don't understand why.
    And I would hate someone to arrange cleaning for me or come in and clean! Sure, ask to do a load of laundry and help yourself to a cuppa, but don't arrange stuff!!!
    The list is a little strange!!!
    I had a nicu baby and had lots of visits. It made things really hard because it interrupted our time visiting with dd2 and also interrupted expressing times. When I went home and dd2 stayed in hospital people gave us more space because they knew it was a huge distance for us to travel each day to the hospital and we had also asked for no visitors afterwards unless asked so we had less chance of catching colds etc and being unable to go in to see dd2.

    although I liked having visitors it made it really hard to go down to nicu while I was still in hospital. When my sister had her premmie I made a point of giving her space for this reason. I explained to her that although I really wanted to come visit her, I felt it was more important for her to spend time bonding with her baby and express express express without having to worry about entertaining visitors and worrying about being too shy to express in front of other people, being her first bub. also as we live a distance away I didn't want her to feel like she had to entertain us because we came so far. I'm pretty sure she understood my reasons.

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