My mother was alcoholic. Our father died before I was born. Mum never physically hurt us. Mostly emotional, also emotional blackmail. Then slept heaps and would be starry eyed. She often had falls, one resulting in a blood clot in her brain requiring surgery and rehabilitation to gain control of her muscles etc. I was 14 then. We had to live with friends and go to a new school until she recovered.
She died when I was 20. She had cirrhosis of the liver.
I drink, very rarely. First time getting drunk was at age 28. Maybe a few times after that. I am now 37. Might have alcohol once very three months, and not get drunk at all.
Dh doesn't drink a lot. He may go out twice a year. I always try to prepare myself ahead of time and try to self talk that it's ok for him to drink as he doesn't getting totally sloshed. I try remind myself he is an adult capable of making decisions,
But , without fail, comes the day of his going out and I make nasty unnecessary comments about him going out and coming home drunk. I am like a crazy person. Then I feel even more angry because he makes no effort it even reassure me. He doesn't know what it was like for my sister and I growing up. The uncertainty, the embarrassment, the sadness and rejection. So why would I expect him to understand.
Kinda at a loss....