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  1. #11
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    He knows how babies are made right? As a PP said, he won't wear a condom, won't get a vasectomy, but it's your fault for getting pg? good lord

    I can't tell you what to do. But if it were me, I'd be choosing that baby over him. Do you believe that even if you terminate, that 5 years down the track you are even going to be together anyway? The pg aside, the relationship sounds like it's in a bit of trouble, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say if you terminate, you'll probably end up breaking up down the track anyway, and you will have lost the baby and the marriage.

    If YOU don't want to keep the baby, then terminate. But reading your OP I get the vibe you do want to keep it.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (14-10-2013),Mokeybear  (05-10-2013),ThighsBeGone  (07-10-2013)

  3. #12
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    My current pregnancy was unexpected and my partner has really struggled. He has come a long way but it's still tenuous.

    I decided to keep this baby and told him he could either be in or out but I have taken care to try and prepare myself so that I'm ok if I need to carry on alone.

    I saw a counsellor to help me reach this decision and it helped so much, she was really great at helping me to consider every angle and option and navigate to a place where I could clearly see what I really wanted to do. She also helped me to work out a way to tell my partner.

    I also have a teenager and she has been my greatest support and already a doting big sister. Your daughters may really surprise you if you do find yourself lacking some support in this.

    That all being said, I have had a termination in the past so I'm not anti choice and that too was the right decision at the time.

    I like to think that all women, given peace and support to consider this situation will always come up with the right decision, whatever that may be.

    Just be kind to yourself.

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  5. #13
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    Gee now I realise why my sister spends hours on this site all of you are awesome!!

    It helped so much to write it all down. I've spent my whole life thinking of everyone else and trying to fix everything that I've never realised that I'm the only one trying to hold this marriage together. It's really time to sit down with DH and decide once and for all. Are we fixing this or just walking away. This long weekend seems like a great time to talk and see if he will come counselling but I'm not expecting he will. I have to put myself and my children first. They deserve to see that relationships are not meant to be like this.

    After that I can start to decide what to do about this unexpected pregnancy. My sister tried telling me that nothing needs to be decided in a day but that thought didnt penetrate until I'd read back my own words.

    Thanks heaps guys

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  7. #14
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Sounds like you have it sorted, good luck

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  9. #15
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    Be aware TBG that no matter how you bring up the subject of the problems in the marriage, this man is so immature that it is likely going to be twisted into being your fault no matter what!!

    So if you come out of the discussion feeling like your head is spinning and wondering how in the world you got onto something you did 5years ago when you bought up something about last week. Let it go.

    While single parenting sounds scary, the freedom and pure joy you can experience while doing it, without tiptoeing around your partner and his moods is like a breath of fresh air. I know that dual parenting works, but only if both parents are doing it...

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    ThighsBeGone  (07-10-2013)

  11. #16
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    Let us know how you go. Thinking of you xx

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    ThighsBeGone  (07-10-2013)

  13. #17
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    No advice-just hugs and positive thoughts. Everybody has offered great advice already.

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  15. #18
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    Good morning.

    Just thought I'd pop in for an update. My idiot husband went out to watch the footy at the pub last night. I gave him some money and took his key card and off he went (he has a gambling problem so never allowed to take more than a hundred when he goes out)
    A couple of hours to by, I'm enjoying the quiet time at home watching Minions(Despicable Me) with DD3 and suddenly I remember that DH had his credit card on Thursday to pay the remainder of his truck. I jump up and run to the freezer and check, nope my card is there his isn't (frozen in a bowl of water mean we can't randomly spend)

    Heart sinking I check the bank $200 missing. Call him and he "Im so sorry babe. It's in my pocket I'm not going to use it. Ill be home in an hour" Blah Blah Blah
    Stupid me believes him so an hour goes by and I call again but now his phone off.
    Check bank again another $500 gone. What the F&@k
    I dropped DD3 at the sister in laws and drive to the pub (DD1 and DD2 are staying at their friends places thank God) I walk in and took his wallet and walked out again. He followed and we had a huge arguement in the car. I left him at the sister in law (his brother and wife) took the baby and came home.

    Spent the night texting each other because I refuse to pick up the phone and talk to him. I'm just so mad that I didn't want to listen to his **** or say things I may regret. For now he is staying at his brothers. He says he will go to GA and marriage counselling but until he makes the effort I'm not letting him home because he'll do nothing and things will never get better.
    Today I'm taking him his car and uniforms for work for the week.


    Baby wise I've done nothing but think about and I'm more leaning towards keeping but I have to use my head to make the decision as well as my heart. Tomorrow I'm going to call the local Family Planning and get some counselling for myself.

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  17. #19
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    Oh wow!

    Good for you! Do not let him back in the house till a myriad of things change. If at all.

    I could not tolerate gambling at all, good on you for taking a hard stance. I think it's make or break time.

    Single parenthood can be a massive relief, there is a lot to be said for just having a peaceful life.

    You sound strong, go to your appointment tomorrow and see how you feel afterwards, I think the minute he finds out you are pregnant he is going to feel extremely confident that you won't leave him, and as a result get no help for the gambling and marriage counselling so tread carefully and keep a hard hard line with him.

    Good luck and sorry your evening was so stressful ( he is an idiot!)

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    KaraB  (14-10-2013)

  19. #20
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    Does he know you are even pg?


 

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