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  1. #1
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    Default Guilt as a SAHM

    Hi, I'm new to all this but I do not have anyone to talk to so I thought it would be a good way to vent and talk to like minded people.
    Is anyone else made to feel guilty because they are a SAHM?
    My husband is a painter and earns $50 000 a year, we get Family Assistance benefits because of our lower income, I work one Saturday a month to help out a little financially but other than that I am a fulltime mother to two children, a daughter 4.5 and a son 2.5.
    I find a lot of my friends and family make me feel guilty because we have chosen to have a parent be at home until our youngest is in school, which is another 3 years away. Yes, we do not find it easy financially paying a mortgage and living but we make do with what we have, we buy only what is necessary and we live on a very strict budget, the main thing is we are happy. But I can't help but feel like people have a go at me for not helping out my husband/family financially or make my husband feel guilty for not having a better paying job.
    They always seem to have a go at us as because we are going to put our children through public schooling as they are all going for private schooling which we can't afford even if I did work full time. They think we are weird when we say going to lollipops playground or hype 4 kids is just not in the budget.
    Do you think they really don't understand why we live this way or do you think they are jealous?

  2. #2
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    I don't know but what is your income once you include the ftb and other benefits?
    Last edited by Chew the Mintie; 04-10-2013 at 18:58.

  3. #3
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    I don't think it really matters, and is nobodies business how your DH and yourself have decided to raise your family. Hold your head high, and enjoy your children, those that judge you I would avoid! Perhaps don't mention money or budget, steer around it so if they invite you to a play centre just say 'oh my kids prefer the outdoor park'.

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    Probably a combination of both. One thing I have learnt over the years is that what works for you might not work for someone else and vice versa. And what worked last year mightn't work this year.

    Parenthood is a moving feast and you can't compare your situation with anyone else's.

    Do what works for you.

  5. #5
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    What do you mean when you say they "always have a go at you"? What do they say and how often? It seems unusual for people to talk to you about stuff like that in that way?

    If you're happy with your life then just ignore people who say such things. And make new friends!

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    Thanks for the support MummaOJ

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    My husbands family mention finances every time we see them, which is often, always ask us how much our bills are and ask why my husband doesn't look for a better job or why I don't work, but when we reply that we're happy the way we are, they usually shrug their shoulders and walk away.

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    Do you complain about having no money or struggle to pay bills like car repairs etc?

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    I think it's a lifestyle choice,you've made the choice to go the traditional route and be at home and you're happy I don't know if others are jealous or not but I could imagine there being positive and negatives either way. I am a sahm mum too and I get what you're saying but I think you need to work on just letting the comments roll over you, I would explain my family's reason for doing what we're doing but if someone doesn't get it then for me it's a meh whatever I'm happy and that's that.

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    Also I would say to his family who's always probing your finances that its not polite to talk money!! You're all eating have clothes and a roof over your head so tell them that your budget is just that YOuRs


 

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