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  1. #1
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    Default Advice needed for 18mo extreme,h strong willed

    Pls help. Is this all normal 18mo behaviour?

    My DS is a huge handful, has been from day 1. He's so demanding of me all the time. He has not one ounce of patience at all. If we pull up somewhere he is already screaming and arching his back to get out of the car seat, its so frustrating.

    He's always moody and... I don't know how to put it, just moans and groans I guess but really loudly and over nothing. Why can't he relax and be more chilled out. How do I teach him to chill and relax.

    i took hime to an osteo recently and said he is highly stressed out. It worries me that a toddler is stressed. If he doesn't get his own way or I say no, he either bangs his head on the floor or if I'm holding him he'll hit himself in the head repeatedly. One mum was laughing at him/me in public the other day as DS had a meltdown and was uncontrollable and hitting himself. It made me upset.

    he is incredibly strong willed, has been from day 1. I just need tips to handle a strong willed child in toddler years.

    He only seems happy maybe 60% of the day. The other times its cranky, tantrums, crying, fussy etc. he is sooooo hard. He doesn't like toys, so I can't keep him occupied on his own, I need to occupy him and be with him. If I leave him for 5 mins on his own he gets up to no good and in Mischief (he is a climber). He's never been a kid to sit and play with toys which is a shame as he owns half of toys r us lol.

    I'm not worried about his iq as i believe he is very smart. Has around 20-25 words already. Can pour water from one cup to another in the bath rarely spilling a drop. Has always been ahead of his milestones particularly gross motor skills.

    Please help me, I loose my patience at him all the time, he is hard work. i need him to chill out. Any advice appreciated. Thanks
    Last edited by EmilyMac; 03-10-2013 at 13:51. Reason: Hit send before I was finished

  2. #2
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    Oh two more things:

    1. He suddenly doesn't like sand on his hands. He's had his sandpit since 11 months but now runs and wants me to wipe his hands - is this a textural thing??

    2. He no longer likes me getting a cup of water and pouring it over him (not his head, just his body) in the bath He gets quite cross when I do it.

    just two things that have never bothered him in the past.

  3. #3
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    I hear your pain. DS is just 2 and is quite similar. He has recently become OCD about food on his hands and I always have to have a paper towel to wipe them between every mouthful. He also can't occupy himself with toys and he has a lot too, think I'm going to do a cull so there are not so many choices and just keep the basic stuff. Sorry I don't have any advise, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

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    EmilyMac  (03-10-2013)

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    Thanks for replying, toddlers are hard work!!

    im worrying if his behaviour needs further assessment. I have a dr appt next week for vaccs so will def discuss with them.

    if anyone had any advice, it would be appreciated.

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    You can always ask for referral to see a paediatrician for your concerns. I'm on waiting list for a paed through public hospital got told it's 12 month wait. My son would freak out if he touched sand, grass and refused to hold wet food like fruits. He just got over sand & grass lately at nearly 2. Boo to the mom that laughed at you, what a mean biatch!

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    EmilyMac  (03-10-2013)

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    He sounds exactly like my DD (now 3)
    She is such hard work and so demanding she has literally turned me off having another child. She is a beautiful intelligent child but she is just so much more full on than other children. She's spirited and it's her way or the highway! Even just taking her to the grocery shop is an effort and leaves me exhausted. My DD at 18 months and even younger would bang her head on the floor or against the wall if she didn't get what she wanted. Now she just screams this high pitched squeal that makes you shiver! She's always been hard, even as a baby. She knows exactly what she wants and that's it, you can't change her mind or compromise with her. Everyday is a challenge and some days I feel like I'm just a slave to her demanding temperament but some days are better than others! She is only just starting to entertain herself for small periods of time before the whinging begins again but before now she could not sit and play on her own, she needed constant attention from me. She's super smart, talks well above a 3 year old standard and I think this has A LOT to do with her behaviour. I think her busy little mind needs to be constantly challenged and stimulated otherwise it brings out negative annoying behaviours!! Some kids are just harder than others I guess! I feel for you as I know what it's like! I sometimes watch other mums at the shops easily breezily going about their shopping with a toddler and a baby in toe and here I am on struggle street with my one child!!

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    EmilyMac  (03-10-2013)

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    How much is he talking? Have you done any sign language with him? My daughter has been difficult that way as well. She's also 18 months. I have a theory that toddlers get frustrated because they understand the world much more than they did even 6 months ago but don't have the ability to express themselves. I've started to encourage my daughter to "use her words" and "tell" me what she wants when she's frustrated. If she refuses, I let her know that I will ask again in a bit and walk away. She generally throws a tantrum but when I come back she at least tries to tell what she needs. Teaching the signs for things can help with the language barrier.
    The sensory stuff can just be a phase he's going through, but I would definitely talk to your doctor about it. If nothing else, to reassure you that everything is fine. Keep offering the sand but don't push it. Maybe one day he will like it again.
    I hope that helps.
    One more thing... relax! You're doing a great job!

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    EmilyMac  (03-10-2013)

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    My DD is exactly the same. Worse when she is tired/hungry/bored. I implemented a strict routine at home and it has helped a lot! Also be aware of his diet, as certain things can start to trigger bad behaviour at this age.

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    EmilyMac  (03-10-2013)

  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie's Mum View Post
    He sounds exactly like my DD (now 3)
    She is such hard work and so demanding she has literally turned me off having another child. She is a beautiful intelligent child but she is just so much more full on than other children. She's spirited and it's her way or the highway! Even just taking her to the grocery shop is an effort and leaves me exhausted. My DD at 18 months and even younger would bang her head on the floor or against the wall if she didn't get what she wanted. Now she just screams this high pitched squeal that makes you shiver! She's always been hard, even as a baby. She knows exactly what she wants and that's it, you can't change her mind or compromise with her. Everyday is a challenge and some days I feel like I'm just a slave to her demanding temperament but some days are better than others! She is only just starting to entertain herself for small periods of time before the whinging begins again but before now she could not sit and play on her own, she needed constant attention from me. She's super smart, talks well above a 3 year old standard and I think this has A LOT to do with her behaviour. I think her busy little mind needs to be constantly challenged and stimulated otherwise it brings out negative annoying behaviours!! Some kids are just harder than others I guess! I feel for you as I know what it's like! I sometimes watch other mums at the shops easily breezily going about their shopping with a toddler and a baby in toe and here I am on struggle street with my one child!!
    Oh thank you for your post! I can relate to everything you've written, it is exactly the same as my DS!

    How do you parent a strong willed child, I'm really struggling. Maybe I should talk to a CHN about it. How do you "reason" with them. I hate the 30 min tantrums but i don't want to give in and let him to get his own way (eg meltdown because I turned off tv or said no to a cracker).

    Any advice appreciated, thank you.

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    Gracie's Mum  (07-10-2013)

  16. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by MummaOJ View Post
    My DD is exactly the same. Worse when she is tired/hungry/bored. I implemented a strict routine at home and it has helped a lot! Also be aware of his diet, as certain things can start to trigger bad behaviour at this age.
    Hmmm, its interesting you mention diet. He rarely ever has processed foods, I cook from scratch all the time but within the last 4 months I started letting him have plain water crackers. He has maybe up to 3 a day. He loves them. Do you think this typeof food could cause it. I'd say his behaviour has gotten progressively worse since he was 14 months.

    I also booked him in to see a homeopath who will take a hair sample and drop of blood to be sent off for testing. It will tell us if environmental/toxins/intolerances/allergies is causing his erratic behaviour.


 

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