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  1. #1
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    Default Me again. Need help I guess

    I've been generally balanced the last week or so, ie. not suicidal, able to run my business well and be a parent to 5 and wife to 1. I'm on so much medication (suboxone, Xanax, lorazepam, pristiq, noten...) that I feel it's just that keeping me functioning. I have a counsellor one hour one direction, a case worker who showed up to see me at the pool today for an appointment to ask me what I wanted from them and that I need to stop Xanax and go see their psychiatrist and hour in the other direction.

    I'm keeping it together, my business is excellent and going really well but this sadness is lapping at the edges. It's there and I just feel I could burst into tears. I'm at work. Everything is fabulous. I'm making so much money at work, people are loving the new refurbishments and new menu. I have mil and my mum coming each once a month for a few days to help out. Kids are on holidays which I love. Life is so good and I just feel like I'm going to burst into tears

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    Oh hun. Big massive hugs for you. I suffer with pnd. Im now on effexor to help with it. A few months ago I started taking vitex to help with ttc then I started to notice an increase in sadness and suicidal thoughts. I changed the times that I was taking vitex (I was taking them at the same time as my anti depressants) and noticed that i went back to normal (well as normal as you can be on these meds)
    What im trying to say is that maybe one of your meds are interfering with the effects of another med.
    That was the case for me but also I found that I needed a huuuuge chat with hubby to get out all my feelings cos there was alot of guilt surrounding the thoughts I was having.



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    Thanks Hun. I took vitex once for ttc reasons and it helped. Funny thing is my gp told me to take it now for depression. I haven't yet.

    I dunno. I don't feel psychotic and suicidal like before just like the sadness is going to swallow me up. I come across so happy to my customers. Secretly hoping dh comes home and tells me he is taking me out to dinner. It's unlikely as he never thinks of stuff like that so I had better get the thought out of my head so I don't create disappointment.

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    I've read another thread of yours frenchy and in such a short time you seem to have done amazingly xox
    It takes time to heal from an illness, mental or physical, and I think you have to give yourself that. If it was your leg that was broken the bones knit first and then become stronger over time.
    Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, you'll get there.

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    Why don't you call your husband and tell him you are going out for dinner! You deserve it!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    Thanks Hun. I took vitex once for ttc reasons and it helped. Funny thing is my gp told me to take it now for depression. I haven't yet.

    I dunno. I don't feel psychotic and suicidal like before just like the sadness is going to swallow me up. I come across so happy to my customers. Secretly hoping dh comes home and tells me he is taking me out to dinner. It's unlikely as he never thinks of stuff like that so I had better get the thought out of my head so I don't create disappointment.
    Id take it if the gp recommended it, it is a hormone regulator and taken separately to my anti depressant I found that it helped. Maybe a chat with hubby will help clear the air. Talk to him about him maybe doing things to surprise you every now and again. Random dinners when he knows you are having a rough day, just be open and tell him about your disappointment sometimes. Men are quite thick when it comes to these things so you may have to give subtle (oh who am I kidding, they need to be more than subtle) hints sometimes so he gets what you want.

    Do you think there is any thing that is making you sad? Or doyou think maybe its more of a chemical thing? Or maybe thinkjng about the meds you are taking to make you happy and normal is making you sad because you feel like you shouldn't have to take things ro be happy, you just want to be naturally happy. Iykwim

    Finding the cause of your sadness will help fix it. Are you sad all the time? Or do you have moments of being sad that last a while?if you have moments of being sad, concentrate on what you were thinking about at the time and try to work out what you can do about it.

    Its hard tho, hey. Sorry for asking so many questions.
    Just know that we are all here for you!!! Xx dont hesitate to shoot me a pm if you need a chat. Am here anytime if you need/want

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    Thanks. I feel like the Meds are keeping me alive and kicking like chemo keeps cancer at bay, these Meds are keeping the awfulness just at bay. Even the Benzos which I should'nt be on, everytime the Xanax wears off I feel all the yuckiness come back. I have nearly weaned off the olanzepine (zyprexa) antipsychotic because it was making me put on weight.

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    There's nothing making me sad. My life is wonderful. I love it. That's what is so hard, there is really norbing that needs fixing. Questions are fine xx. I will go and get the vitex.

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    You've been through a lot lately so it's no surprise you aren't feeling amazing. I go through life with sadness lapping around the edges so I understand that feeling. Just wondering, sometimes I get a deflated feeling after something I've been working towards or looking forward to ends. Do you think you're having a bit of a comedown now you are back at work and life is back to 'normal'?

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    ThabksX yeah I don't know. I know I'm shouldn't be on the Xanax but its helping me keek my head above water at the moment, just.


 

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