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  1. #1
    lexim's Avatar
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    Default Sore loser

    Hi everyone. I need some help with my DS1 almost 4 year old. He is a real sore loser.
    I've never encouraged winning and losing but from about a month ago everything is a competition and if he loses he cries. Every time he plays with someone he is always saying "I'm the winner" or "I always win" even if its not something that has a winner or loser and then if he loses all hell breaks loose!

    Every time we play something I give him a turn of winning and losing and always tell him it doesn't matter who wins or loses.
    I tell him well done if he wins and good try if he loses and encourage him to do the same.

    Just wondering if anyone else has had this and what I can do to help him realise it's ok to lose.


    DH(31)+ Me(25)=
    DS (09/12/09)
    DS (04/02/13)
    Hoping for #3 soon!

  2. #2
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Absolutely no advice, because my almost 4 year old is exactly the same! He has to win or be first at everything. It seems to be quite common at this age from my experience of talking to other parents about it. Not sure how to deal with it though so I will be reading along with interest!

  3. #3
    lexim's Avatar
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    Thanks @FearlessLeader I'm glad I'm not the only one.
    His little cousin who is the same age (well 6months younger) is here today and it just doesn't seem to worry him so I was just wondering why my DS does!


    DH(31)+ Me(25)=
    DS (09/12/09)
    DS (04/02/13)
    Hoping for #3 soon!

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    I think it's a phase that a lot of kids go through. My DD was very much like that at that age.

    One thing I talk about with DD is the difference between games you win because you're lucky, and games you win because of skill.

    For example, after she loses snakes and ladders, we discuss that it's a game you win through luck and she might be the lucky one next time. After she loses a game of chess we discuss that it's a game of skill, that Mum has been playing a lot longer and DD will get better the more she practices. I then identify some positives from the game, eg "you captured my queen! That was a good move! I didn't see it coming!" to try and focus on the game rather than the result.

    Hope that helps!

  5. #5
    lexim's Avatar
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    Thanks @shelle65 that helps with the different games


    DH(31)+ Me(25)=
    DS (09/12/09)
    DS (04/02/13)
    Hoping for #3 soon!


 

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