View Poll Results: Would you allow your partner to be a sperm donor for his ex?

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  • Yes

    1 2.56%
  • No

    38 97.44%
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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    My Dad no longer paid child support for us when my mum re-married. My mum and step-father had more than enough to support us so mum didn't push it. We still carried on seeing Dad though, actually us kids had no idea about any if that. We weren't neglected.
    No matter how rich or poor I am I still support my children. My ex earns a huge amount of money and his new partner is on good money. They could afford to pay for everything for my son (not that they would). But even if they offered I believe it's my responsibility to financially care for my children as well, even if I didn't pay as much as the other party. If my child needed absolutely nothing I would put some money away for them for their future.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to sockstealingpoltergeist For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (29-09-2013)

  3. #52
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    My partner wouldn't even entertain the idea for a second. It's not up to me to 'allow' or not allow him to do anything, but any type of man who wants to find ways to get out of financially supporting his children is no man of mine.

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    Atropos  (29-09-2013)

  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post
    No matter how rich or poor I am I still support my children. My ex earns a huge amount of money and his new partner is on good money. They could afford to pay for everything for my son (not that they would). But even if they offered I believe it's my responsibility to financially care for my children as well, even if I didn't pay as much as the other party. If my child needed absolutely nothing I would put some money away for them for their future.
    So would I, but if the kids are well looked after and provided or thm I don't see how it can be called negligence, slack sure absolutely, but not necessarily neglected. That's all I was saying, not disagreeing all parents should be responsible for their children forever. Anyway I feel like I've taken over the thread a bit so will give it a rest

  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    I didn't say there weren't... I did say my ex is one of the ones who pays it happily and offers extra when he has it. But as someone who's been a single mum for the entire 3 years I've been on this forum I've seen too many posts from SM's who get very little or next to nothing, and too many posts from resentful new partners who don't like their husband's/partners paying so much child support, nasty posts where they just wish the ex would go away. That's not to say there isn't arrangements that do work though.
    No but you specifically said "Men are always trying to get out if paying CS!" And that's a blanket statement that isn't accurate- I've been a single mum, I'm now a step mum. I get a pittance if anything from my ex (and have enquired about canceling it but was told it was an application process and far too much hassle IMO) and know that my DH pays his without question despite it being calculated in a questionable way and despite his ex almost constantly underestimating her income- a pattern even CS have noticed but do nothing about. I was just trying to give balance to what you'd said.

  7. #55
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    Nope. Not at all comfortable with the thought.

    Because either biological relationship doesn't matter, and so, why not use someone else's sperm or biological relationship does matter - so absolutely not.


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    grumpybump  (29-09-2013)

  9. #56
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    Yep. I'm ok with that


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

  10. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    No but you specifically said "Men are always trying to get out if paying CS!" And that's a blanket statement that isn't accurate- I've been a single mum, I'm now a step mum. I get a pittance if anything from my ex (and have enquired about canceling it but was told it was an application process and far too much hassle IMO) and know that my DH pays his without question despite it being calculated in a questionable way and despite his ex almost constantly underestimating her income- a pattern even CS have noticed but do nothing about. I was just trying to give balance to what you'd said.
    Ok just quickly.. I was talking about the myriad of situations I've read on this forum in the SP section, not everyone everywhere... And yes I was being general, you're talking about one situation (yours). That's fine, I never said its universal and ALL men try to avoid paying CS.

  11. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post
    I've got to disagree.

    I don't think child support comes even close to half the amount it takes to raise a child.

    My DF pays child support plus extra. It's the right thing to do.
    Did you mean to quote me? I didn't say anything about half...? All I said was that there are legitimate concerns from both the side of the paying and receiving parent. Which there are. Life is not black and white like the method of calculation expects. One parent may hide income or deliberately reduce it or work cash in hand therefore reducing what they pay or conversely, increasing what they receive. One parent may deliberately underestimate their income. There are many situations like this.
    FWIW my DH pays what he's meant to and then some as well as having them kids almost 50/50.

  12. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Did you mean to quote me? I didn't say anything about half...? All I said was that there are legitimate concerns from both the side of the paying and receiving parent. Which there are. Life is not black and white like the method of calculation expects. One parent may hide income or deliberately reduce it or work cash in hand therefore reducing what they pay or conversely, increasing what they receive. One parent may deliberately underestimate their income. There are many situations like this.
    FWIW my DH pays what he's meant to and then some as well as having them kids almost 50/50.
    Yes I did mean to quote you. But I do agree that situation is wrong. If your ex is doing the right thing.
    my ex also works cash in hand on top if his huge wage and doesn't pay extra. So I can understand that POV.

  13. #60
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    For the getting rid of child support - no. If he no longer saw the children i wouldn't be with him anyway as a father needs to be a father and i have no respect for deadbeats.

    Sperm...maybe as there could be a compelling reason (donor match for marrow if an older child was ill for example). So, assuming the kids were in our lives and we knew the only way to get a match was another child...i would consider it for transplant type reasons (but then that brings up a whole raft of other discussions about the life of the child to be born).

    If the ex just wanted a child on a whim "because she really wants another one"...then no.


 

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