My mum has never been into fashion or whatnot. She has always been a bit of a dag (does wear clean clothes though). She has no kids at home to care for any more but I'm sure some could judge her as "not taking care of herself". It's simply nonsense though. She's never been a suzie homemaker.
I think when kids are young this is pretty normal. They are energy draining leeches. I do think as they get older it's good to find balance. Not re looks, I couldn't give a rats about that, but I try to get my DS who is now school-aged to pull his weight around the house for his sake as well as mine. He has learned the hard way that I'm not a servant lol.
I do feel sad for some women whose hubbys won't pull their weight and give them time off to go to they gym or paint their nails and have a shower, that is if that's what they want.