I am a stay at home mum with a 3.5 month old. He is a pretty good night sleeper, usually only has one night feed and straight back to bed. I'd like him to go to bed earlier but I can't complain really.
My biggest problem is that he won't nap during the day. As a result, we get about an hour or so of 'happy time' in the morning and then he's just cranky for most of the day. He sometimes goes down for a nap but won't last longer than half an hour. He wants constant attention when he's awake because he's so cranky and tired.
So, I'm currently stuck trying to fit in eating/showering etc in when I can, which is often before he wakes up or early in the day while he's still happy and will play on his own. I also have to do housework in those times. I don't get any time for myself. I don't get to do any of the things I used to like doing before DS was born. I feel bad if I spend his 'happy time' doing housework because I feel like I should be playing with him. But then I feel guilty if I'm not doing housework because it needs to be done. I was doing uni before DS was born but I can't even do that now because I would have no time to study.
I would really like DF to help out more with the housework but he thinks it is 'my job' because I'm at home all day and he works full time. It wouldn't kill him to vacuum or stack the dishwasher but he never does it and I don't want to ask him to. The one time I did ask him to tidy up the kitchen, while my then 6 week old DS was in the middle of a looooong feed (plus I had the flu), he just didn't do it. When I asked why he couldn't just do that one thing he said he was busy. By busy, he meant he was playing Candy Crush.
So I haven't asked again because I know he just thinks I'm lazy for not doing all the housework myself. I know he thinks I'm lazy when he comes home from work and the house isn't clean. I don't think he expects it to be spotless but some days I just get nothing done. And he doesn't really help much with DS when he's home either. He does nappies. But if I ask him to try to put bub down for a nap he will try for a bit, then if he won't sleep he brings him back out and says he's not tired. So then I have to do it anyway. I can't trust him at bedtime because more than once I have walked in to find him fast asleep with DS in our bed in various unsafe sleeping positions. He doesn't respond when DS cries because he's such a heavy sleeper.
I have been out ONCE since he was born, I was only gone for a few hours. DF texted me and said bub had just had a feed and was having a nap. I came home to find an overtired baby and DF trying to give him another bottle (which he didn't want or need, wasting precious EBM). Turns out his nap lasted 5 minutes. He fell asleep feeding so DF put him in his bouncer (????) then he woke up (wonder why) and he didn't bother trying to get him back to sleep. Instead he spent the next hour or so until I got home attempting to stop him from crying using any activity other than sleep. So when I got home I was handed an overtired, overstimulated baby to try to settle. He had a crap sleep that night but what does that matter when you're not the person who has to wake up to him?
I feel like he wants to help with bub but he just doesn't try very hard and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him what DS needs. I have tried to implement a routine for sleep time but DF can't be bothered learning it so that's probably half the reason he won't nap. And he won't help with housework. Surely I can't be expected to do so much? I'd love to have as much time as he does to sit at the computer playing games. But apparently I don't get that privilege.
Sorry for such a long rant, its 1am and bub has been asleep for hours but I'm wide awake so over it.