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  1. #1
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    Default Family court

    Hi I have a question id like some help with- I have been separated from ex for 1.5 years we have no formal orders in place she is 2.5 I have attended and initiated mediation twice and he has initiated it once however on every occasion he refuses to complete and I have obtained certificates to prove this- we have also had numerous letters back and forwards from solicitors - he is now threatening to take me to court- what he wants isn't totally unreasonable however he hasn't paid a cent in child support and didn't see her for a period of over 6 months- I don't want to go to court as I can't afford it but at the same time don't want to say yes to everything he is asking for! Am I within my rights to stops visits until we have something legal in place as I worry after our discussion today that he won't return her open to any advice thanks

  2. #2
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    You are "within your rights" but stopping visitation looks bad and is it best for you child? (No judgment just something to consider)

    Not paying child support isn't viewed well by the court but child support and visitation are separate issues.

    Can you offer supervised visitation? Whether it be with you, someone you trust or look into the agencies that offer it?

    Have you looked into legal aid?

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  4. #3
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    I'm happy for her to see him she has been going twice a week for 5 hours during the day- I'm just not willing to agree to everything he has put forward through his solicitor - he sees no problem sleeping during the day during her visits whilst his girlfriend looks after her!

  5. #4
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    Legal aid is not an option as I work part time and receive some centerlink benefits so earn too much!

  6. #5
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    Without knowing your situation at all & unless there is a serious risk to your daughter that you can 'prove' I would suggest that the courts approach would be to increase that 5 hours slowly to build it up to overnight in the interim period- this may take place over a few months or more

    While you can cease his time prior to court you really do need to consider the implications of this for your future parenting relationship, the way in which the court would view you & any potential that there may be to resolve it without court.

    I'm not judging and don't want to sound harsh but him sleeping while he has her (I know he only sees her for 5 hours twice a week so you'd think he could stay awake) is a minor issue for the courts and wouldn't really stop her getting to spend more time with him. Unless of course his girlfriend was unfit to care for her.

    Good luck I hope it works out for you!

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  8. #6
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    It sucks the he has her for 10 hours a week and thinks sleeping is a good use of that time - I found the hardest thing about co parenting was losing an element of control and accepting that I have very little say over the way ex parents when DS is with him.

    Do you have a good support network? It can really help through the hard days.

    Have you got a list of the things you're open to discuss and the non-negotiables? If he isn't willing to mediate and is set on going to court I don't think there's much you can do but keep being reasonable and keep trying

  9. #7
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    Thanks for your replies I have amazing parents however my sister is unwell and on dialysis for her kidneys and she's a single mum too so they spend a lot of time with her- I am lucky to have wonderful friends too

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    Keep records of everything, email him if you can, so you have all concerns in writing- This is extremely important.
    Do not initiate court proceedings, unless things are dire. And of course if he kept your DD an emergency application would be put to the court, it may take a few days to a. Week, but he would be forced to return her.

    If he won't communicate Properly put it in writing.

    Be as polite as you can Always, and always talk about putting your DD,s needs first.
    Make sure if it distresses her to be away from you for long periods that you put that in an email. As they take into consideration bonding.

    Go and see legal aid, you may get free representation. You have to prove financial hardship.

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by denae View Post
    Am I within my rights to stops visits until we have something legal in place
    No i wouldn't stop visits.


 

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