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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Unless you fell pregnant on purpose without your ex's knowledge (holes in the condom etc) then your ex should still pay. If he was worried about not having access he should have hired a lawyer.

    That being said if a bio dad isn't around (passed away, di@khead etc) then a step dad should step up and help take care of their wife's child. Which is exactly what your hubby has done.
    Ex and I were in a committed relationship of 3 years, and engaged to be married. I fell preg while on the pill and an antibiotic and ex knew what the consequences could be. But in saying that he was never interested in the pregnancy, or as my LO as a baby really at all, although he did sign the birth certificate.

  2. #12
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    Of course your lil one is still his responsibility! I have remarried and I even had someone on here comment that because my DH earns decent money that DS should not receive support from his bio dad...rediculous!

    OP - I would leave the chasing to CSA. Report to them what you can and let them chase him for it. I would let go of any expectation of ever seeing any money though so that it does not eat you up emotionally. Because of his choices...this will make his life difficult...don't let it give you any worries. I hope that makes sense?

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  4. #13
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    Thank you gals for your lovely replies. I suppose perhaps I am doubting myself a little at the moment, wondering if this chasing CS if really all worth it in the end.

    The CSA have him flagged in their system (whatever that means) and he is in intensive collection right now, but still no luck.

    I sent an email to Hank Jongen asking if he could look into how someone can quite easily disappear of the ATO's radar for years with no consequences, and he forwarded my email to a collections dept. of the CSA who called me and will look into it further. So fingers crossed.

    One thing that really cheesed me off was that thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I was able to discover EX purchased a brand new 4x4 at the end of June, so I called the CSA and informed them! It just angers me that he can buy a new car, but can't or won't pay CS? I suppose it is just too low on his list of priorities. As is a relationship with his only child. But that is for another thread

  5. #14
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    How very convenient for the ex, I'm surprised he didn't send you an engagement present!

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    Cicho  (26-09-2013)

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    I have actually considered this, although my LO knows they have another parent out there (I gave age-appropriate detail) and ex is on the birth cert. as the father. I suspect he might sign away seeings as that gets him off financially but then I think why should I give ex that option?

    Everything so far has been ex's choice. He chose not to maintain contact. He chose to hide and avoid paying child support, and when I do get a payment (clearly not very often) then he gets to choose how much and when I receive it!

    I suppose that is a bit selfish on my part but why should I just give ex what he wants, which is to be rid of CS for good.
    My dad adopted my two older brothers when they were 9 & 7, at the suggestion of my Mum's exDH because he didn't see them much (& didn't want to) & didn't want to pay CS anymore. It worked out pretty well & everyone was happy with the arrangement; my brothers have caught up with their bio father as adults though but still very much consider their adopted father as their 'dad'.

    I agree with everyone else...the bio dad is still responsible regardless of whether your married or not.

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  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Thank you gals for your lovely replies. I suppose perhaps I am doubting myself a little at the moment, wondering if this chasing CS if really all worth it in the end.

    The CSA have him flagged in their system (whatever that means) and he is in intensive collection right now, but still no luck.

    I sent an email to Hank Jongen asking if he could look into how someone can quite easily disappear of the ATO's radar for years with no consequences, and he forwarded my email to a collections dept. of the CSA who called me and will look into it further. So fingers crossed.

    One thing that really cheesed me off was that thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I was able to discover EX purchased a brand new 4x4 at the end of June, so I called the CSA and informed them! It just angers me that he can buy a new car, but can't or won't pay CS? I suppose it is just too low on his list of priorities. As is a relationship with his only child. But that is for another thread
    Its worth it. It's disgraceful that people get away with this. He is banking (literally) on you not following it up.

    Pig of a person.

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  10. #17
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    Agree.

    I am infuriated reading your story, chase it as far as you can take it purely on principle!

    Thank god you have a real man in your child's life.

    Can't wait for Karma to come calling on that pathetic douche.

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  12. #18
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    I absolutely agree that bio-parents have a financial responsibility to their children, no matter what situation they are in.

    On the other hand though, I do wonder whether you would be better off getting him to sign away his parental rights and be rid of him for good?

    If your DH and yourself are able to provide a loving, stable home for your child without a financial supplement from the father, is it really worth chasing the money purely on a matter of principle?? As long as your child is healthy, clothed, fed and educated it is only money after all...

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  14. #19
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    If that was me I would get him to sign his rights away. You dont want to deal with him later on in your LO life. He sounds pathetic at best.Dont let it consume you...even though it is upsetting.Your little one has you and your DH who sounds like he is doing the daddy job very well.Sometimes it's best to just let things go for your own piece of mind.

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  16. #20
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    I haven't seen ex for over 6 years so I have no idea if he would sign his rights over, or not.

    I suspect he might make it difficult for me, purely out of spite, in retaliation for my child support claim

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