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  1. #1
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    Default advise needed re child support

    Hi everyone,

    I just want to get any ideas/advise re child support private agreement... I just gave birth to a beautiful boy 5 wks ago...the father doesnt want to have a part of it as initially he wanted me to terminate but did not agree with him...

    I applied to CSA as advised by centrelink to get my full ftb..

    The father wants to have a private agreement with me without CSA collecting as he said CSA calculation will be high and he is not happy to pay for it as he is paying mortgage (he is a single dad too) he asks me what I want I have told him I don't really need anything from him i am managing and supporting myself fine maybe just for him to have a part on the bubs life but I don't think that will be in the picture..

    My dilemma is I don't have an idea what amount would be fair to ask since he is willing to give but not based on CSA calculation also with this private agreement it will have to go through with solicitors for it to be binding what other stuff do I need to include like emergency medical , schooling or anything else I need to have included to cover my son in the future.

    Any ideas/input will be greatly appreciated thanks.

  2. #2
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    Keep in mind CSA will nominate an amount he has to pay which will reduce the amount of FTB centrelink give. So if its high your FTB will be reduced even if you're not getting that amount.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ClearCrystal For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (26-09-2013),bodynsoul  (26-09-2013)

  4. #3
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    I would not do what he's asking.
    I know you really want him to be part of your sons life, but he should be doing that regardless.

    you will lose FTB based on the amount of CS he should be paying. So it doesn't matter what he wants to pay, the CSA assess him based on his income, they already exempt in on a certain percentage for living expenses and existing children, then he pays a percentage of what's left.

    My DF pays a good amount of CS, however I know it still does not cover what it really costs to raise a child so he pays extra for school books, swimming lessons and dental etc.

    He should be paying the correct amount as it will help a little to ensuring a better quality of life for your son. Do not allow him to guilt you into allowing him to pay less, a decent man would not do that.

    Sorry he's not doing the right thing and being a good father to your DS.

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    galoomp  (02-10-2013)

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClearCrystal View Post
    Keep in mind CSA will nominate an amount he has to pay which will reduce the amount of FTB centrelink give. So if its high your FTB will be reduced even if you're not getting that amount.
    I rang CSA and they confirmed this thank you

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    my ex and i have a private agreement where he pays all school related costs , medical insurance and flights for the kids to see him..
    we do this because he refused to pay the CSA amount as it was very high and i agreed to it so at least he was paying something..
    we have had this since 2001 and CSA and Centrelink were happy... all we had to do was get an exemption so that I get the correct amount of FTB and we have had no issues...
    Speak to a social worker at Centrelink if you can as they will help you with any issues...

    Good Luck

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    bodynsoul  (26-09-2013)

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    I wouldn't do it, he really does not get to choose how much he is willing to pay plus it doesn't sound like he is going to be around for the child.

    Speaking from experience too, my ex husband and I have had a private agreement for at least 13 years, it's a third of what he should be paying, he pays for flights when the boys would go to see him but that was only ever annually at best.

    Meanwhile I have literally paid for everything, sport, school camps, braces it goes on and on I even bought their first cars, he has never offered more or to help with anything and I have never asked but I have seethed over the years as he earns a massive income and yet he can't share with his children or lighten my load.

    Sorry for the vent but raising those boys financially was a hard slog!

    Back on track, cut him no slack!

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    bodynsoul  (26-09-2013)

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    It's unfair for him to be asking you what 'you want'. The pregnancy happened and is both your responsibility. The fact he wanted you to terminate does not make him 'blameless' or waive his duty of responsibility.

    Dont feel guilty about asking for c/support for the above reasons. It is for the child.

    I would definitely go through the CS agency for this one OP - just the fact he wants to pay less is very telling that he won't meet his obligations to the child. It also provides a middle-man so to speak, taking the onus off you (in theory) to have to chase him for it, as it is calculated by an unbiased 3'rd party.

    Good luck with it all, and enjoy your beautiful little baby boy.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 26-09-2013 at 16:03. Reason: Spelling/word change

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    Mokeybear  (26-09-2013)

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    It's not 'high' if it's the calculated amount.... It's based on both incomes. In more cases than not the custodial parent spends far more on the child than the non-custodial parent pays in c/support, and is the one doing all the yard work raising them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    It's unfair for him to be asking you what 'you want'. The pregnancy happened and is both your responsibility. The fact he wanted you to terminate does not make him 'blameless' or waive his duty of responsibility.

    Dont feel guilty about asking for c/support for the above reasons. It is for the child.

    I would definitely go through the CS agency for this one OP - just the fact he wants to pay less is very telling that he won't meet his obligations to the child. It also provides a middle-man so to speak, taking the onus off you (in theory) to have to chase him for it, as it is calculated by an indiscriminate 3'rd party.

    Good luck with it all, and enjoy your beautiful little baby boy.
    Totally this OP, it's hard raising kids on your own, he is just looking after his own interests and you should do the same for your little one.

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    I would speak with Centrelink.
    So what if he is paying a mortgage, everyone has bills, that's no excuse. That's directed at him, not you.
    You decide what is best for the bub, not what's best for him.


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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