When I was 11 I stole $50 from my cousin. No idea why. Mum and dad got their mate who was a cop to come and talk to me. Scared the crap out of me, but worked! At 17 she knows damn well what she's doing and she really needs to be held accountable for her actions. I wouldn't report her to the police of course, but i would consider getting their youth liaison officer to discuss the consequences of stealing from others, especially at her age.
Honestly, I would be offering her some support ( letting her know that you are there for her etc ) But if she behaves like this anymore that she isn't to come around.
I would be backing up your husband...but, it really is up to him and her mum.
I know you have been around for a long time but sometimes, the discipline really has to stop with "mum and dad".
I would be sitting with your DH and making a list of the issues and then helping him come up with consequences. He needs to get bio mum on board and they need to be consistent!
Lot's of kids go through stages of stealing...but stealing a younger siblings 3DS is a huge thing! She needs to apolgise and make amends.
If they don't get anywhere with her...i would suggest some family counselling for them...and if it goes well then you and step dad to be included too.
I have to strongly disagree with this.
Would you kick your child out of home if they went through a rough patch? If not, then how can you suggest the child's father tells HIS child she is not welcome in his home. It would be incredibly damaging.
Clearly, something is going on with this girl and she needs help and support...yes, consequences...but rejection is not going to help on any level.
She did something stupid and stole something.
Again, if an older child stole something from a younger one...would you kick them out...or would you look for a solution.
I hate that step kids are "optional"...it is her dad and his house should be as her home...not somewhere she can be banned from for making a silly teenage mistake.
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