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  1. #1
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    Default How do i approach my step daughter about stealing?

    Hi all,
    DH and myself are having alot of issues with his DD who is 17 yrs old. she is causing alot of problems on both sides , with us and also her bio mum and step father. she had been stealing alcohol and money at her mums and 2 months ago she had stolen various items totalling over $400.00. i'm sure she knows of what she has done..one of the things she took was my DS' Nintendo 3D DS, which i bought him for christmas..my son has Autism..so relies on his games since then she has not come over or doesn't even want to know me...i am so angry at the situation. i just don't know how to approach this with her, when i do eventually see her. i have spoken to DH but nothing has been done. her birthday was 2 weeks after the incident and didnt even bother coming to her birthday dinner..now she wants her birthday money..which we have not given to her yet. but she has cut me off..so do i bother? so confused TIA

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    I totally agree that both parents should get together with a strategy. my DH has approached the bio mum but because she has never liked me...even though i have been in the picture for 15 years...nothing has been done about it.

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    Harsh idea, but getting the police involved?

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    Getting the police involved would just add fuel to the fire..i have thought of it though. my eldest step DD is getting married in March and it could cause problems there.

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    This must be a difficult sitatuion for you. I'd be getting your DP to have a talk to her about the DS. Nintendo 3DS's arent cheap! I wouldnt be giving her birthday money and be telling her that her birthday money has gone towards your DS's NEW Nintendo 3DS. Sorry but shes 17, she knows better and next year she can be arrested as an adult and jailed for stealing, she needs to pull her head in imo.

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  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by WinterIsComing View Post
    This must be a difficult sitatuion for you. I'd be getting your DP to have a talk to her about the DS. Nintendo 3DS's arent cheap! I wouldnt be giving her birthday money and be telling her that her birthday money has gone towards your DS's NEW Nintendo 3DS. Sorry but shes 17, she knows better and next year she can be arrested as an adult and jailed for stealing, she needs to pull her head in imo.
    This. Exactly.
    OP.. Is it possible she is doing drugs? I'm not assuming and don't want to freak you out.. Just wondering if she may be.

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    Dr Phil will say its up to your DH to sort out. If I were you I would stay out of it (well tell DH what you think but don't approach the step daughter etc). If they already see you as the wicked step mum getting involved will only make it worse.

    Good luck

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    Wow this is full on!
    It's not like it's a couple of coins from the kitchen counter, full on theft. How "ballsy" of her to think she can just take it, she must know that the discipline is lax from your partner/her mum.
    I would stay out of it completely, I would sit your partner down and make it clear to him that he needs to sort this out asap, even tell him to invite the mother over to discuss if that's appropriate, he and her need to agree on what needs to be done, as if it's just him trying to enforce it, it won't work.
    So sorry about your sons ds, I work with kids with autism and know how absolutely distraught they can get without their favourite things, completely not cool of her :'(

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    There is no way in hell she would be getting birthday money. She should be told it will be going towards replacing the ds she stole. Did she not receive any punishment for stealing the ds or anything else she has stolen? It sounds like a severe lack of discipline & she knows she will get away with it. I agree with the others that the bio parents (or all 4 of you) need to work together to address this, unfortunately at 17 it may be hard to pull her into line if she hasn't had the discipline earlier.

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    I would be talking to dh about not giving her the birthday money, no matter how sorry she ends up being. Sorry your ds had things stolen, it's not nice.

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