If I was going to budget it in anyway, I'd tell him it was happening, not ask, not hide it, just let him know.
What's the worst that can happen if you just tell him upfront and that it's not for discussion?
Compared to if you get a cleaner in, not tell him, feel guilty, and he finds out or you tell him later?
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I'm on 'your side' but gees what will the argument be like if he finds out????
I'd just say 'I'm getting one and that's not negotiable' and deal with it like that rather than keep it a secret!
Does he work everyday? Is it possible he takes care if the kids 1-2 hrs per week or fortnight so you can clean instead?
My dh will take my kids outside or another room while I dust/vacc and clean toilets and bathrooms. Or he vacuums while I entertain them.
Mopping is done once kids are asleep.
Last edited by 2BlueBirds; 24-09-2013 at 17:47.
It took me years to explain the need for a cleaner to my dh. In the end I finally got him on board and he's happy now.
I say sit him down and really explain how you are seriously struggling and how you need a cleaner short term (even say "for 3 months" or similar) to just get over the challenges of the ages of your kids. My dh didn't want a cleaner cause he thought it was hard work to get the house ready for the cleaner. I promised to do that part. Once he sees the difference it makes hopefully you can keep it going ...
All the best. Cleaners are great!
I totally understand, DH just does not see the mess/dirt so he doesn't see the need for a cleaner.
A few weeks ago I had been asking him to vacuum, he kept saying he would do it. In the end I did it while he was out. That night, he goes to vacuum. I was like 'um, I've done that'...he reckons he couldn't tell the difference.
I would get the cleaner, but I would probably also tell him.
Oooh! I never thought to do this! Great idea. However, I would be concerned about setting the bar too high. I have kids roughly the same age and I cannot keep a clean house. It gets overwhelming. I have a vent every now and again and on occasion I let the kids watch tv so I can clean for a bit. It's hard. I figure its the hardest part of their lives to try and keep things tidy as it is all on us ATM.
I wouldn't do it without telling my DH. That's a recipe for disaster.
Instead I would write a list of what needs to be done/ how often etc. ask hubby to mark off half the chores as his. If he doesn't do it then say "When I go back to work I am getting a cleaner in once per fortnight." Don't hide it, tell hubby what you're doing and do it openly.
I would hire them and just not say anything unless it came up. So long as he has no issue about the security/privacy side of things and was just 'no i don't want one cos i don't understand' then bugger it .. hire a cleaner
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