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  1. #11
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    We have a cleaner once a fortnight, and it's great, one of the best domestic decisions we ever made. It's so much easier just to maintain the house based on that once a fortnight big clean, and we don't argue any more over chores.

    In our case, it was actually one of DH's friends and that friend's wife who suggested the cleaner - they had one and thought it was great too. DH was converted after that.

    Good luck with persuading him.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    First let me state clearly that this is NOT the type of relationship we have. We are totally open and honest about everything and I am not sure if I could even go through with it but...I can't keep on top of it all!
    Background - DD-5, DS - 3 and Ds-6m. I am really struggling to keep the house clean - tidy is not too bad but the big cleaning jobs just don't get done. I am not the best housewife but not cause I am lazy - I never stop - but there is just so much to do and so much picking up and dropping off to do, plus the baby who wants his cuddles naturally.
    Anyway - DH is completely opposed to a cleaner. I have raised it before and he is vehemently against it and we always end up fighting but he just can not see the things I see and it does not bother his if the bathroom has not been cleaned for a month.
    He also loves to say .." my mum and my sister managed' ( yes and they never did/do a single extracurricular activity with their kids).
    So - I am looking at going to back to work end of Dec and I seriously scared as to how the house will be if I am working again ( 3 days a week). I just can't do it. DH helps but not as much as he thinks he does and as I said - some things just don't bother him. Eg - if the floors need doing and feel dirty underfoot - he'll start wearing his shoes inside rather then think ' you know what C is having a hard time getting to this - I might do it for her'.
    Anyway - I have contact with a cleaner $20 an hour ( so bugger all) and I am so tempted to just get her in for the big things once a fortnight and not tell him but I would feel so guilty. Should I feel guilty with a clean house or miserable living in a dirty house??? What would you do? Should I just keep arguing with him? Opinions?
    This! I've just re-hired a cleaner (had previously used a cleaner do to regular weekly cleans but decided I didn't need it once I started working PT instead of FT) my husband doesn't know I've hired a cleaner again, but if he asked I'd tell him. He works away I've got two 8 yr old DD and a 5 month old DS who is VERY demanding, wakes up to 6 times a night and feeds 2 hourly and rarely sleeps during the day except for little cat naps. My DD have after school activities and dancing every Saturday morning so I have no guilt in having a cleaner. Also $20 an hour is cheap, my lady charges $30 an hour but she's worth every penny!

  3. #13
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    If I was going to budget it in anyway, I'd tell him it was happening, not ask, not hide it, just let him know.

    What's the worst that can happen if you just tell him upfront and that it's not for discussion?

    Compared to if you get a cleaner in, not tell him, feel guilty, and he finds out or you tell him later?


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #14
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    I'm on 'your side' but gees what will the argument be like if he finds out????

    I'd just say 'I'm getting one and that's not negotiable' and deal with it like that rather than keep it a secret!

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  6. #15
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    Does he work everyday? Is it possible he takes care if the kids 1-2 hrs per week or fortnight so you can clean instead?
    My dh will take my kids outside or another room while I dust/vacc and clean toilets and bathrooms. Or he vacuums while I entertain them.
    Mopping is done once kids are asleep.
    Last edited by 2BlueBirds; 24-09-2013 at 17:47.

  7. #16
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    It took me years to explain the need for a cleaner to my dh. In the end I finally got him on board and he's happy now.

    I say sit him down and really explain how you are seriously struggling and how you need a cleaner short term (even say "for 3 months" or similar) to just get over the challenges of the ages of your kids. My dh didn't want a cleaner cause he thought it was hard work to get the house ready for the cleaner. I promised to do that part. Once he sees the difference it makes hopefully you can keep it going ...

    All the best. Cleaners are great!

  8. #17
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    I totally understand, DH just does not see the mess/dirt so he doesn't see the need for a cleaner.

    A few weeks ago I had been asking him to vacuum, he kept saying he would do it. In the end I did it while he was out. That night, he goes to vacuum. I was like 'um, I've done that'...he reckons he couldn't tell the difference.

    I would get the cleaner, but I would probably also tell him.

  9. #18
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  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Joeee For This Useful Post:

    #Mama  (24-09-2013),Boobycino  (24-09-2013),btmacxxx  (24-09-2013),SummerFun  (24-09-2013),upforroundtwo  (25-09-2013)

  11. #19
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    Oooh! I never thought to do this! Great idea. However, I would be concerned about setting the bar too high. I have kids roughly the same age and I cannot keep a clean house. It gets overwhelming. I have a vent every now and again and on occasion I let the kids watch tv so I can clean for a bit. It's hard. I figure its the hardest part of their lives to try and keep things tidy as it is all on us ATM.

  12. #20
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    I wouldn't do it without telling my DH. That's a recipe for disaster.

    Instead I would write a list of what needs to be done/ how often etc. ask hubby to mark off half the chores as his. If he doesn't do it then say "When I go back to work I am getting a cleaner in once per fortnight." Don't hide it, tell hubby what you're doing and do it openly.

    Good luck

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