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  1. #61
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    I have to admit I am not overly concerned about the way my daughter dresses when she is older. I think wearing tiny shorts and midrif shirts has been done for decades by young girls. I think it's part of them becoming aware of their bodies, their sexuality etc.. and its a phase which passes.. I did it, my own mum has photos of herself in the 60's wearing what appears to be a see through white singlet with her belly button showing and a long flowing skirt. She also said she wore tiny bikinis which her father was horrified by.. I am more worried that she will feel pressured by her peers to act any way.. whether it's that she feels she has to be sexually active to fit in or she feels she has to act and dress a certain way to avoid getting a bad reputation. I don't want my kids to think sex is wrong, and I also dont want them to feel it's the way to popularity either. Hopefully we can all find ways to ensure our daughters and sons have positive self esteem and respect for their bodies.. although I think it's always going to be tough!

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg2 View Post
    I guess that is the issue though - is it really a choice when girls are constantly bombarded with images telling them how they are supposed to look? Do we really think that so many girls just have an innate preference to wear less clothing than boys, or to wear less comfortable clothing than boys? Or are our children being manipulated into presenting themselves in a certain way?
    These are important things to consider before we just write off the discussion as "oh well, each to their own".
    but every.single.choice we make every day is influenced by social norms. I try not to become too panicked. Young teenagers are of course particularly impressionable which is why its important to be open and talk to them about everything, all the time. My mum spent so much time talking to me about music videos and the covers of magazines etc.. if you have those lines of communication open, I think most of the time, they will mature and be able to see past all the marketting and body shaming.. Most of us have been through those teen years where we wanted to look a certain way and portray a certain image of ourselves.. and the majority come out the other side of those awkward and very peer influenced years just fine.

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  5. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    But they will.

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    So what? Why should she care what a stranger thinks? People will judge for all sorts of reasons. I wear runners with my suit on the way to work. I know some people think that's a really poor fashion choice and I'm not fitting into society's expectation of femininity. I don't give a cr@p. I see men with bikes in Lycra, you can see their testicles. I don't see any outraged threads saying we should lock up bike riders and refuse to let our kids cycle.

    It is not my responsibility to stop others judging me. It is theirs to treat me with the respect all human beings deserve.

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  7. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    So what? Why should she care what a stranger thinks? People will judge for all sorts of reasons. I wear runners with my suit on the way to work. I know some people think that's a really poor fashion choice and I'm not fitting into society's expectation of femininity. I don't give a cr@p. I see men with bikes in Lycra, you can see their testicles. I don't see any outraged threads saying we should lock up bike riders and refuse to let our kids cycle.

    It is not my responsibility to stop others judging me. It is theirs to treat me with the respect all human beings deserve.
    well said. Oh man.. Middle aged men in Lycra haha.. I fear one day this will be my partner.

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  9. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I'm talking about young teens, so you are ok if your young teen, 12,13, 14 year old went sleeping around and having one night stands?
    I think numbers are sort of arbitrary. But yes if they had no regrets and were sensible then I would be ok with (probably not happy, as I think its too much for them to cope with emotionally sometimes) my kids having sex at that age. I probably would t be ok with them 'sleeping around' as I don't think they would be mature enough to deal with it, but if they have partners I would be ok with a youngish teenager having sex. I mean they're having sex with each other- other teens I mean. I would hope that my children will respect themselves enough that they will experiment with other teens who respect them. Teenage boys aren't horrible evil creatures. My brothers are teenagers. They are wonderful respectful young men who have sexual partners. My DP was once a sexually active teenager. they're not monsters, they're just horny kids. Girls can be just as awful to boys as boys are to girls, I don't know why we feel the need to be so protective of our girls.
    Its interesting- when we have the 'what age did you lose it' threads there are often people responding with 13-16 years who have no regrets, but would hate for their DD to make the same choices.

    But we are off on a tangent, wearing revealing clothes doesn't mean someone is sexually permissive.

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  11. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    So what? Why should she care what a stranger thinks? People will judge for all sorts of reasons. I wear runners with my suit on the way to work. I know some people think that's a really poor fashion choice and I'm not fitting into society's expectation of femininity. I don't give a cr@p. I see men with bikes in Lycra, you can see their testicles. I don't see any outraged threads saying we should lock up bike riders and refuse to let our kids cycle.

    It is not my responsibility to stop others judging me. It is theirs to treat me with the respect all human beings deserve.
    Bit of a difference between people wearing gear for exercise as opposed to people wearing revealing clothing just for the hell of it? Would i let my daughters wear lycra bike shorts for cycling. Yes. Would i let my daughter walk around in shorts that are shorter then her butt cheeks - no.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    I did too...and I also got myself in some dangerous situations and had a termination at 16. I want my DD to avoid those things. I wish my mum had paid more attention to what I was doing as a teenager. Being an alcoholic she barely knew where I was half the time.

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    Well I didn't get myself into terrible situations because my parents were on my ar$e all the time and taught me how to look after myself and respect myself. So clearly it has nothing to do with how you dress it who who sleep with, and everything to do with someone teaching you self worth.

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  14. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeForWine View Post
    Bit of a difference between people wearing gear for exercise as opposed to people wearing revealing clothing just for the hell of it? Would i let my daughters wear lycra bike shorts for cycling. Yes. Would i let my daughter walk around in shorts that are shorter then her butt cheeks - no.
    My DP rides to work and has never worn lycra. I also see lots of people wearing lycra with shorts over the top. Both are fashion choices, I don't see the difference.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg2 View Post
    I guess that is the issue though - is it really a choice when girls are constantly bombarded with images telling them how they are supposed to look? Do we really think that so many girls just have an innate preference to wear less clothing than boys, or to wear less comfortable clothing than boys? Or are our children being manipulated into presenting themselves in a certain way?
    These are important things to consider before we just write off the discussion as "oh well, each to their own".
    While I agree with everything you've said, I still don't see how calling teens trash or $luts for dressing the way they believe they need to is going help the situation.

    The media is telling them that they have to dress a certain way, society judges them for doing it. Why is the teenager who follows the latest trend any less deserving of respect than the one who ignores it?

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  18. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    My DP rides to work and has never worn lycra. I also see lots of people wearing lycra with shorts over the top. Both are fashion choices, I don't see the difference.
    Im not saying you HAVE to wear lycra Im just saying that in general, people who ride for sport wear lycra. So I kinda look at it as a uniform as such. haha. And i was guilty of wearing bike shorts with shirts over the top in highschool haha and other then think oh no my daughters have my really bad fashion sense I woudl have no problem with them doing the same.

    I dont look at teens / or anyone wearing short shorts or revealing clothes and think 'sl^t' or anything like that BUT as a parent I would not allow my teens to dress that way (the shorts with the cheeks out / extra lot of clevage / extremely short skirts or dresses. I probably make zero sense i have real trouble getting my thougths out in an readable way.

    Gah anyway thats Just my stance on it.
    Last edited by TimeForWine; 24-09-2013 at 14:02.


 

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